aeryn

Its a simple thing I never asked too much all at once
I take my time going through my list of demands
Watch it growing

Shelley Doty: Books


Full of energy and hope that this spring has brought, I went outside to tackle my overgrown garden. Today, I did find that it is definitely time for Claritin. And that finally, I have energy to give to my own life.

Ive neglected my yard, actually for several years, which is odd because it has been one area of my life that I could approach with abandon. I never think too hard about structure and how I want the garden to end up being. I just buy what I love, and watch it grow. I let things spread. I let things that start to grow on their own flourish. I never have a plan or fear.

And as I pruned and weeded and raked, I thought about my own life. I no longer want to have to live my life with fear. I want to jump into the deep end and not worry about what is under me. Our already too short lives, is probably almost half over for me, and Im still just testing the waters. And Im furious at myself for allowing this to happen. I, also, know that I can no longer try to pull another person along. I need someone whose energy isnt dependent on me to be the spark. I could use a spark or two for my own. So here I am beginning to compile my list of demands, and I wont ask too much all at once.