aeryka

my car got totaled.
old bitch rear ended me.
why did i stop?
cuz thats what you do when there are lights and sirens behind you.

HE visited me.
on is way to leave.
and i fucked up again, i think.
i dunno its always my fault no matter what happens.
so close to heaven and now im in hell.
but god it felt good to hold him.
just wish i could hold my anger back when he pushes me like that.
nothing can get worked out if you wont talk to me.
and im not selfish. i just dont get what i need.

god i just want to sleep because then i dont know it happened.
then i wake up and for a minute im ok but then
i remember everything that happened....

had an embalming today
apparently her arteries didnt want to be found
and her paper skin was slipping
and she was missing a toe.
and i almost passed out
freakin biohazard suits are hot
couple that with not eating for two days
and you get a gray and on the verge of passing out Aeryka.

im so upset and depressed i dont even want to drink.
thats bad.