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aeon49802

http://www.haistar.com

Member Since 2003

Followers 108 Following 13

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Monday Jan 26, 2004

Jan 26, 2004
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Oi...I haven't written in here in awhile. So this self-employment thing is going well. Little low on $$$, but hey...$$$ isn't everything and I wouldn't trade this freedom of living exactly how I want for any amount of $$$. It just sucks not being able to go out for Thai food and drink imported beers with friends. I have to watch my budget now. But perhaps it is good to become frugal. It is something that I have always wanted to work on.
I am finishing two paintings that I will put up in the gallery section of my website soon and I am still accepting work from a couple dear friends from SG and my old place of employment to display as well. It is so great to know so many intelligent and artistically talented lassies and laddies. I am so blessed. OK enough of the positive stuff.
So I am just now feeling the hurtful pangs of missing my ex. Indeed it was a good decision to cut him loose, but at what a cost to me! I have already met an amazing new person...but I fear that the intensity is already getting to the level that might close me off to any sort of attachment at all. I hate feeling the pressure of needing to feel in sync with the other person.
Life was so much simpler when I was a kid. I just want someone to read comic books with, drink CapriSun with, and tickle endlessly. Innocence and purity like that seem lost in all relationships as an adult. There are always ulterior motives, unreal expectations, and deadlines on relationships. Everything is sooo very draining and so much work since so much is expected, rather, required from everyone involved.
CapriSun anyone?


surreal surreal surreal
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
iload2:
Is It Though?
Jan 27, 2004
dereknobbs:
While I was reading you entry I knew exactly what I wanted to say to you, probably something profound and heartfelt, but know I have no idea what I wantedx to say....... hmmmmm.....
I know exactly how you feel about the cash thing. I took a budget cut last fall. I went from a full time $12 per hour job to a $14 per hour 12 hours per week... now I am always poor but I get time to work on my art, and I love my new job. I put aside money to promote my art/illustration. Let's hope it works. EL SUICIDO LOCO
Anyway, I am so glad that you and I met, even if it is online. (Although I think I might drop out of SG, it is not impressing me lately. Even though they say they are still going to print my poster.)

Well I would comment on the second half of your entry and tell you all about how sometimes, usually, evenrything happens for a reason and you will look back to see that you learned something and that you are better off now, only time will tell, so hang in there.... If I was there or you were here I would take you out to get some Negra Modelo and have a good ol' time and we would forget about our troubles...

well that is all I have to say about that. kiss
Jan 29, 2004

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