ooooh man, the anger and apathy of working a real job is flooding back. i'm on the schedule of a fucking EMT. i've received frantic calls from my ultra-dork (not in a cool way, either) manager at various post-work times like 9:30 on a friday evening, 2:00 on a saturday afternoon ... and, the kicker, 6 FUCKING 30 AM on a SATURDAY MORNING WHILE I WAS DRUNK AND AT THE RHINO.
what the fuck, man? i don't get paid NEARLY enough to deal with this bullshit. hell, i don't get paid enough to do 90% of what i do. how do i always end up getting fucked by rich assholes in the end, eh?
WHEN can i just be a rock star?
and people wonder why i drink so much.
ugh, on a different note -- i learned that my best friend since i was like, well, 5 or 6 who was later my roommate in college freshman year is getting married. at this point, i have ... 5 of my closest friends married, the rest in committed relationships.
then there's me. i'm nearly 26. i drink every night till i can't see, i have sex with random strippers and tourist ho's and haven't been in a REAL relationship in probably two years. i have a general loathing towards most everyone and, from what i'm told, i treat girls horribly. i use them and toss them away; i don't show affection, i don't pay them much attention; i'm too selfish and mean. well shit.
besides, judging by the general populace of my little town here; another 'real' relationship ain't about to happen again any time soon anyway so what different does it make?
do i care? not really. i mean, this is the shit i've vowed to avoid, right? growing up; sucking up to the man (ok, i already do that but i at least keep SOME of my soul), no more partying. man, FUCK that. what kind of bullshit way is that to live? i guess this is the price, though, right? watch your friends grow up and become adults while i stay in some sort of high school mentality; acting like your typical boorish little shit of a human being. a state of arrested development, as it were.
again ... do i care?
no, not really.
date with a stripper tomorrow night. w00t!
what the fuck, man? i don't get paid NEARLY enough to deal with this bullshit. hell, i don't get paid enough to do 90% of what i do. how do i always end up getting fucked by rich assholes in the end, eh?
WHEN can i just be a rock star?
and people wonder why i drink so much.
ugh, on a different note -- i learned that my best friend since i was like, well, 5 or 6 who was later my roommate in college freshman year is getting married. at this point, i have ... 5 of my closest friends married, the rest in committed relationships.
then there's me. i'm nearly 26. i drink every night till i can't see, i have sex with random strippers and tourist ho's and haven't been in a REAL relationship in probably two years. i have a general loathing towards most everyone and, from what i'm told, i treat girls horribly. i use them and toss them away; i don't show affection, i don't pay them much attention; i'm too selfish and mean. well shit.
besides, judging by the general populace of my little town here; another 'real' relationship ain't about to happen again any time soon anyway so what different does it make?
do i care? not really. i mean, this is the shit i've vowed to avoid, right? growing up; sucking up to the man (ok, i already do that but i at least keep SOME of my soul), no more partying. man, FUCK that. what kind of bullshit way is that to live? i guess this is the price, though, right? watch your friends grow up and become adults while i stay in some sort of high school mentality; acting like your typical boorish little shit of a human being. a state of arrested development, as it were.
again ... do i care?
no, not really.
date with a stripper tomorrow night. w00t!
I'm not getting married for a long time...