aenemated

ya know. i surrender. totally. i do. all the little ho's come and go ... chicks i should PROBABLY appreciate; but i don't. and then it comes back around to bite me in the ass and ruin everything.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

why can't just ONCE ... the one i actually WANT to be with and treat right just ... come through? actually happen? who the fuck do i have to KILL, man? why's it gotta be these lovely mornings that only become a fantasy of what could have been? and then these bullshit flings that happen for no reason and end just as quickly? i'm tired of it but i know it won't end and i won't stop and i'll keep wasting my time and it won't matter. they mean nothing and only temporarily fill whatever void exists. second verse same as the first. blahblahblah, caca. fuck. goddammit. i'm pissed and i'm sad and i'm disapointed and i'm sad. i already said that, but it's worth repeating.

mmmm, jealous of love, you fuckers. what have i? hm, some would say a lot and i say nothing and fuck you, thank you. it's not enough, i need more, another notch but not the last one. that last one alludes me and it alway will because karmatic retribution's just a vicious cycle. around and around. no one stops pushing. not as long as i keep fucking with them, at least and we all know THAT won't stop.

blah. i'm halfass buzzed and depressed enough to listen to the cure as i fall asleep.

so tell me that you will wait for me, hold me in your arms, i promise we never will part, i'll never sail back to the time, but I'll always pretend you're mine, though I know that we both must part ... you can live in my heart ............................