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aegiswings

New York

Member Since 2004

Followers 95 Following 116

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Tuesday May 10, 2005

May 10, 2005
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Almost exaclty a year ago I moved back to Boston. I had been going through a rough time after being unemployed for several months and I ended up moving back in with my parents in New York while I looked for a job. I took the first job I found (it took me three months), even though the pay wasn't quite what I wanted and moved back to Boston at the end of April.

I could have moved in with my old roommate in his new house, but I had lived with him since sophomore year of college (over 8 years!) and I wanted a change. I packed up my cats and posted an ad on craigslist. I ended up moving into an apartment in East Somerville with a young woman named Sara. We found a third roommate, Margaret, a month later.

Almost a year later, I now find myself at another crossroads -- both with my career and my home life.

I despise my job and most of the coworkers I was friendliest with ended up miserable too and eventually quit. To make things worse my office moved from Kendall Square in Cambridge to Waltham turning my 12 minute commute (by bicycle) into a 45 minute commute (by car). When the raise I was promised never happened, I decided to look for a new job. I hope to get two offers from much better companies this week (if all goes as planned). So it is very likely in two weeks I will have a new job.
But, as much as I hate my job right now, it's hard to leave my friends there (or whats left of them) behind.

Back in my aparment, about a month ago, Margaret told me she wanted to move out when her lease expired in July and she asked if I would move with her. Considering that Sara and I have very different lifestyles (and our cats hate each other), I agreed. As the time approaches though, I am becoming more concerned with living alone with Margaret -- just the two of us.

After the incident with Margaret last weekend, I don't know if she even wants to live with me anymore. And Sara doesn't seem that unhappy to see me go, I actually think she wants me to leave -- my cats and my lax attitude toward chore-charts being the biggest issues.

In the meantime, Margaret isn't talking to me. The only conversation more than a few words that we've had since Friday, was an e-mail she sent me today where she accused me of gossiping behind her back to her friends and being dishonest with her.

I've come to some realizations about her which makes me think it would be a *very bad idea* to move in with her. At the very least, we need to sit down and have some serious conversations before we move. Unfortunately, Margaret doesn't like to talk about things, so I don't know if that is going to happen.

I suddenly feel very lost. I spent the last year building a new life, and now I feel like I'm throwing it all away again -- my job, my apartment, my roommates. Have you ever felt like you've invested so much in a relationship or a friendship or even a situation -- even if its an unhappy one -- that you are reluctant to give it up even though you know its the right thing to do?

I don't want to do it all again. I'd like to think that the last year wasn't a complete waste. I hate waiting around for a job offer, and I don't want to look for new job, but I know I must. And I don't want to go out on craigslist again, just me and my cats, looking for someone to take us in, but thats what it may come down to.



VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
misstyrios:
Hahahaha - unfortunately, the final fucked me in the completely bad way.
May 11, 2005
kwizzle:
Nah, I don't know any of them, but I'm pretty antisocial.

But yeah, Ben was Quincy '99. Physics geek, was in the Band for a couple years, and now he's a res tutor in Pfoho.
May 11, 2005

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