aegiswings

I think I'm having the worst day ever. I'm a complete wreck. I found a note this morning from my roommate telling me that she is moving out at the end of the month. I can't say that I'm terribly surprised. She's hardly ever spoken a word to me since she moved in last October and just stays in her room the whole time and never goes in the living room at all. We've also had numerous issues with our landlord and I've done my best to get him to fix things including calling the health inspector but I know still she hasn't been happy about the condition of the apartment. I also feel that we live very different lifestyles and while she has never complained to me, I wonder if she is woken up or bothered by my friends who come over to hang out occasionally on weeknights. Or maybe I'm too messy, although I do most of the cleaning. I dunno, I guess I'm paranoid, though it doesn't really matter why she is moving out.

The problem is that she is moving out and I am stuck without a roommate. If possible I might try to get out of my lease and move to another place because I really hate my apartment and I may be able to do that if the health inspector backs me. It's possible the landlord might sue me though, and while I'd probably win, I don't know if I want to go through that. The best bet is to see if my landlord will let me out of the lease. In the meantime she has her last months rent paid as a deposit so I'm stuck having to pay the whole rent this month and I really don't have the money. I just started a new job and it pays very well but I only get paid once a month. To make things worse, I got paid on Tuesday but my landlord deposited my rent checks on Monday which caused my account to be overdrawn for which Bank of America charged me $170 in fees! Apparently the couple day "float" that used to exist with checks doesn't exist anymore. I cursed them out on the phone today. It didn't help, of course, and I still don't feel any better. To make things worse, the check didn't clear either so now I'll probably owe my landlord money for a fee too.

I was freaking out at work and I couldn't concentrate at all and this was very apparent to my boss and I really really need to make a good impression because this is a new job and he already thinks I lack focus. But I can't focus on anything these days and I'm a mess with anxiety and I can't sleep and I can't get anything done. The thought of running out of money again this month and having to find a new place and move everything and possibly being sued by my landlord is not pleasant at all. The horribly ironic part is that I make enough money now that I could pay for my whole apartment twice over with no problem but because I was unemployed and I only get paid once a month now and I owe so much money to so many people I have serious cash flow problems.

I have such a headache right now. My boss is gone for the day so I might leave work a little early and try to get some rest. Send me some love. Cheer me up please.