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aegiswings

New York

Member Since 2004

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Sunday Nov 27, 2005

Nov 26, 2005
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So, I went out to QXT's in Newark tonight (a goth night) with my little brother. I hung out with my old SG camping pal's Derceto, Tadzi, and Iggy there. I wasn't expecting much, it being Newark and all, but I actually had an awesome time. I defiinitely plan on going there again when I am home in NY over the Christmas break. It was awesome seeing Derceto, Tadzi and Iggy again too. Thank you Derceto for the shot! I'll buy you one next time! I hope they go out again when I am back in town. <HUGS> to you all!

Somehow, I ended up dancing with, and then talking to, a group of four hott young women. We talked for a bit and I mentioned I was from Boston. They were all from Jersey, of course -- places I had never heard of and they had all gone to a college I had never heard of too. It was a pretty pointless conversation. Somehow I ended up getting the cutest one's phone number though. I'm not sure how I did that. Actually, I think she offered it to me for some reason. I used it to text her my e-mail address -- and I told her to contact me if she was ever in Boston so I could show her around. Not that she'll ever go to Boston or anything, so what's the point. Pointless again, <sigh>. She also probably thought I was gay (they all do). Anyways, I'm still proud of myself for being outgoing for once, and I did have a good time. Maybe I'll text her again at some point anyways, I dunno.

Tomorrow, I drive back to Boston. I really miss it. Sid comes back from Aruba tomorrow too, though prolly prett late. I can't wait to go out to Ceremony with her again on Monday and hang with all my "old" friends (lol). It feels like it's been forever since I've been there even though it's not even been a week, heh. As for that girl I met last Saturday, no, she still hasn't called. I've pretty much given up on her calling, but I'm going to call her one last time at some point anyways. I'm not expecting anything, but I don't have anything to lose either. I know a lot of people think I shouldn't call her again at all.

,,,

Have you ever heard of anyone making "Thanksgiving resolutions"? I actually tried to make resolutions for my birthday last month and calling them "new year's resolutions" (cause you know, it sort of a is a "new year" on your birthday) but everyone thought I was being silly. I was reading or watching something recently (I don't remember what) where a child was making fun of how adults always make "new year's resolution." He or she said it was almost silly of adults to make a New Year's resolution because that is almost a sure sign that you aren't going to actually keep it.

This time I've spent home this holiday, away from my friends, away from everything that is typically in my daily life, has given me a lot of time to think. And I've thought a lot. I've also read a lot -- a particularly depressing and introspective book by Haruki Murakami (but aren't all books by him that way...). In the book I've been reading, the main character spends three days at the bottom of a well in almost complete darkness with no food and only a canteen of water. After reading about that, I was overcome with the desire to do the same thing. Now, obviously I can't quite do exactly the same thing, but I can do something close. I could sequester myself in my room for a day with the shades closed, in near darkiness, not eating or talking to anyone, just sitting alone in tne corner on my half tatami mat. The only thing lacking, would be the sensory deprivation that a deep well would provide (oh, I wish my closet was bigger!) Yes, you may think that I am crazy, but what surprises me is that I *could* actually do that, and like the main character of the book I've been reading, no one would notice. No job, no family, no responsibilties means that I could just slip away and hardly a person's day would be affected.

That isn't quite my turkey resolution, though. My resolution is "self-improvement". It's funny but you'd think once you are unemployed and have all these free time to improve yourself, you'd actually do it, but the opposite is actually true. With all this free time, I've actually taken *worse* care of myself. I haven't gone to the gym, I've eaten poorly, and I've slept worse hours than I've done when I've had a purpose and have had no time. So, once I get home, I'm going to look inward and make myself the best I can be -- first -- and then everything will flow from that...

But for now, good night, and please comment, you know how I love to hear your comments, no matter what they may be!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
perdita:
YOU SHOULD CALL HER AGAIN! Just one more time. I'm rooting for you.

I definitely enjoyed Murakami's books, but they aren't necessarily "enjoyable." Does that make sense?

You really would get sick of pizza after a while. I mean, I still eat it, but it's lost some of the joy for sure. But we have pretty good pizza at my place. If I do say so myself. biggrin As for getting crushes on the girl behind the counter, I don't know what to tell you. I had one of my coffeeshop regulars have a crush on me. It was cute.
Nov 28, 2005
gia:
Thanks for your words of encouragement. I always figured it was him, although I certainly have my moments of emotional distress and my actions tend to match that distress. He just went from loving me to hating me and I don't get how that can happen. I think it hurts the most because I still want so much for him and I believe in him more than I have ever believed in ANYONE, and he was really the first one to ever TRULY believe in me. It's so hard to accept that he holds such an animosity towards me now. Thanks for hearing me out. Enough about him though....

You're still welcome to come up for my Bday, however I cannot offer you or Sid a place to stay as my housing won't allow it. We're meeting at the Taco Bell on S. Willow St. around 6:30-7ish.
Nov 29, 2005

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