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aegiswings

New York

Member Since 2004

Followers 95 Following 116

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Thursday Oct 27, 2005

Oct 27, 2005
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Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday and to everyone who came and hung out with me last night. I'm kind of hung over now but it doesn't really matter because I don't have a job so I can just mope here as long as I want.

I only got half of my birthday wish. Sarah slept over in my bed last night but of course nothing happened. Actually it was more like she passed out in my bed. She didn't wake up until 7:15am and she was pissed that no one woke her up. She quickly put on her shoes and left. "But don't go! You are my birthday present!!" ok, I didn't actually say that, I'm not that creepy, lol.

It's funny, next week is Sarah's birthday and when she was here last night she found her birthday present. It wasn't exactly out in the open and it was in a bag. I found her reading it in the living room and I was like, "You can't read that! It's your birthday present!" Out of all the people that were here, it's odd that she would find it. Well, at least I know she will like it, even if she isn't surprised.

My best friend tells me that I need to forget about Sarah because she is bad news and not good for me. He is right. She knows how I feel about her but she either pretends to not know or just doesn't care. I guess she likes the attention. I've told her straight out a few times how I felt and she didn't really have any reaction either way. Whatever, it's obvious she isn't interested. It used to go through cycles where it seems like she might be interested and then something happened and I realized she isn't and I had to get over her yet again. Last night, in her birthday card to me she wrote about how I was one of her best friends and one of the most awesome people she's ever met or something. You'd think that would make me happy, but I'm on the friendship ladder, apparently waaaay up there, but on the friendship ladder for sure.

So in the meantime, I guess I just look around elsewhere. She talks about how her ex-bf who she isn't anywhere near getting over is the only one that makes her "heart pound". Well I haven't even as much as kissed her and she is the only one that does that for me. I wish I could make her feel that way too. I'm a hopeless romantic.

Normally, I get over women just by not seeing them anymore. Out of site, out of mind. But that would really upset her because she considers me a close friend and she says she doesn't have very many friends. So to just intentionally avoid her seems a bit cruel. Am I actually able to get over her though when she is still around though? I dunno. And then there is a part of me that still feels like there is a chance. That she will get over her ex and realize how awesome I'd be as a bf and our relationship goes that way. ok, I'm sure she realizes how awesome I am but there isn't any attraction there, I suppose, no *chemisty*, I don't make her heart pound. I have idea why, I'm hot like fuckin' what.

Well, time for lunch. Next year's birthday is gonna be a big one. I'm going to stretch it out over two days like they do with the Jewish holidays. Reasoning being will be because of the time difference between where I live now and in Sleepy Hollow where I was born (yah I was born there). (Yes, I know its the same time zone).
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
derangedmichy:
now i can put the story and the face together smile
it was nice to meet sara 2 finally in person. she is a nice girl and I did like her very much..tho I dont know if she is the right girl for u cuz she seems alittle umm...*ahem* "pretending to not know ur feelings?"
i agree with ur best friend on that one.
By the way, I love Shawn. he is so funny wink
Oct 28, 2005
alexsandria:
While it is much harder to get to Burning Man from here as opossed to San Fran, it isn't impossible. It requires lots of saving, planning, and talking to people who have done it. There is even a theme camp from Boston called Automatic Subconscious that you could get invovled with if you wanted to.
Burning Man is an amazing and life altering event, and if you want to go, you should really put the effort in to getting there. Trust me, it's worth it.
Oct 30, 2005

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