adversee

So I finally went out and bought this book called "Rebuilding - When your Relationship Ends" that I had come across on Amazon.com about a year ago, and lo and behold, it says I should start a journal to explore my feelings so that I know where I am in the process. If someone had told me several years ago that I would be publishing my inner feelings on a website that is primarily known for naked alterna-ladies, I probably would have said " that's awesome." And it is.

So here goes:

I am lonely. Not super-depressed lonely, at least not today (that comes and goes) but definitely lonely. I have a real hard time believing that anyone that I would like,would like me, especially with how weird I am. I feel like that this is the perfect time for me to figure out what I want to do with my life, but it comes at my weakest possible moment. I wonder if this is how it is for most people. I find I don't identify with many people, even those who you might think I would identify with, if you knew me. I'm also scared shitless that this whole period of uncertainty will screw up my daughter's life as well. I don't want her to suffer for my inability to deal. Johnny B. Goode just came on my iTunes. I can;t write about sad things while Johnny B. Goode is on.
Talk to you tomorrow.