adrenne

soooooooooooo another feel sorry for me blog, this morning around 1am my hamster big ben died i had to bury him in my front yard.... i got him last year for my birthday .... my birthday is in 17 days now and i dont know if im realli looking forward to it any more. its suppose to be a happy time for me but with the car wreck, my cuz dieing, me losing my job, my cat dieing and now ben dieing i dont know anymore. it just feels like everything is happening all at the same time, and i realli dont want to have to go thru this anymore..... in two years im pose to be moving south, right now we are thinking phoenix, with my grandparents.... but what if they dont make it that long? they arent that old both about 60. i dont know what i would do if my grandparents died they are my rock. they love everything that i do and support me. unlike my parents who just find anyway to bring me down. All my dad does is tell me how much of a fuck up i am, and my mom says "i have liver failure you need to fill sorry for me" well maybe if you didnt drink a 30 pack a day you would be fine or its "wow you got fat when are you going to lose weight?" um well maybe if you didnt put me on depo provera when i was 13. i wouldnt be fat that shit makes you gain up to 10 lbs a year just from retaining water..... i miss the days when i was about 115 lbs and no one ever said a negitive comment to me..........