adorkable

I had the biggest breakdown ever last night and I hate crying in front of people. A little backstory to explain. My best friend of 15 years Donnie died in a car wreck 3 years ago. I talk to this girl every now and again on AIM that I went to highschool with. She has this air of drama around her but I am usually able to ignore it. She is always making up stories just to have something new to whine about but I am use to it. So she sends me an IM last night that said something along the lines of "I am freaking out, Danny sent me a text saying he was in a wreck". Danny is her crush I guess you could say. Instantly I get this feeling in my stomach just because it reminds me of Donnie. She goes on to say that he messaged her and said he "wrecked, fucked his truck up and was on I-75" and he wasn't answering her calls or text and she was worried. I am trying to talk to her and I obviously feel bad even though I have this feeling that it never really happened but I keep going along with it just in case it did happen. She keeps asking me to call the guy since he won't know my number and I finally give in and call and get his voicemail. I write her back and her response is "I keep crying and asking God why, why me God!?!". At this point I just wanted to write "Did you fucking lose him? No you didn't so quit acting like you did!". I kept my composure and told her I had to go. As soon as I signed off and tried to explain to my cousin the situation I got as far as "and you would think that she wouldn't say things like that with my..." and my voice went out. My cousin kept asking what I meant and I couldn't even say the words and kept making weird motions with my hands. Then the tears came so hard and I guess it finally clicked with her. I just cried and cried and cried. I don't feel like I really explained this that well. I hope I don't come off as a bitch for that. I don't expect people to feel like they need to be sensitive towards that subject or censor themselves. It just pissed me off that she was acting the way she was.

I saw Spiderman 3 today. Certain things bugged me though but I liked it overall.

I bought a Sidekick 3 finally! I am so awesome.

What the fuck is up with retarded boys who just come back out of the blue? 3 years of no talking and you contact me? Weird...

I need to go out go out. Like with cool people. I don't mean like the usual people I associate with either.