It isn't as bad as it sounds. I know why I broke and it was unexpected. I experienced the "chaser" effect after having sex where the pent up sexual energy came flowing (no pun intended). That then triggered not into porn. It triggered into fantasy.
Fantasy is where the problem is for me. The riskier the fantasy the more dopamine I can get to my brain. I know now that it's an area I have to avoid and saying no to those thoughts is what I can do. Changing my routine and what I do is important.
Normally I would beat myself up over this. I would tell myself I'm useless and can't do it. Now I just want to get back up and start my recovery again.
With where my head is this is an interesting journey. I'm learning more about myself and how I handle things
