I love the ocean. I love being near natural water bodies. For me, they do something to me. I'm relaxed and happy. It's where I go to be happy. In saying that, I only like to go alone.
I've never seen the appeal of the beach as a social outlet. It doesn't interest me being on the beach with a group of others. It takes...
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This week I approached it very different. Cold turkey has it's advantages yes and it's something I plan to try soon. What I did was a week of reflection and putting new things in place. It has it's benefits. It's now me versus my unconscious. What I came to realise is I am unhappy despite the changes I am enacting at the moment.
When the...
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This week I approached it very different. Cold turkey has it's advantages yes and it's something I plan to try soon. What I did was a week of reflection and putting new things in place. It has it's benefits. It's now me versus my unconscious. What I came to realise is I am unhappy despite the changes I am enacting at the moment.
When the...
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So this week had a few slip ups. I knew I would however I am using it as a way to understand where the issues are and correct them. It can sound like a cop out however I am learning why I act the way I do.
The fantasy part comes from low self esteem. For head I never believed I was attractive. I thought...
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Normally, I would never go to a spoken word performance or go to listen to a talk. It was an odd experience. I was concerned with whether I would be engaged. It was a performance that was truly amazing and inspiring.
I'll give a back story to all of this.
I had known of Henry Rollins from his music but was never an outright fan....
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Music has always been curious to me. The theoretical side, the lyrical side and the pure musical side. The emotion it can carry and the way it can make you feel. What it does do is remain the same so you can hear it through different ears. The person I was 10-15 years ago would have experienced a song in a totally different way to...
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So today I am restarting my no masturbation or sexual fantasy/certain sexual images. What I deduced was that I was needing to change my routines and insert positive changes into my life.
The only way to recover is to make change in the place where the previous mindsets and behaviours were. So here's what I did:
I deleted every erotic image off my phone and...
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It isn't as bad as it sounds. I know why I broke and it was unexpected. I experienced the "chaser" effect after having sex where the pent up sexual energy came flowing (no pun intended). That then triggered not into porn. It triggered into fantasy.
Fantasy is where the problem is for me. The riskier the fantasy the more dopamine I can get to my...
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I decided to write earlier as I haven't had much of an outlet to talk lately. This week has been horrendous. First, I lost my girlfriend. The writing was on the wall. We weren't close and I have attachment issues. It hurts but it's more attachment issues than anything else and firing up psychological wounds.
The second thing is that my head has been a...
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So the first week of my no porn, no sexual imagery and no fantasies has gone. It was a strange week: the first day I was quite fiddly and couldn't keep my hands still. My brain was screaming for it and I felt like tearing my hair out.
Sleep was a strange issue. First few nights I was sleeping 14-15 hours. Some nights I was...
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