Have you ever had one of those moments when something really small and really insignificant happens and suddenly your entire world falls apart?
This is what happened this morning:
I was in a hurry carrying 8 beer bottles (4 under each arm) from the garage and back into the house to restock the fridge, and one of the bottles slipped out from under my arm and shattered into a zillion pieces on the porch. Standing there in the middle of a puddle of the last Schofferhofer Grapefruit Hefeweizen, I instantly became completely unstrung.
A warm teardrop escaped from one eye and then the other, and then I heard Mannheim Steamroller's "Carol of the Bells" booming from the neighbor's open window. Now the homes are not that close to each other that I should be hearing Mannheim Steamroller from over the fence. This was just absolutely ludicrous. The beer I had planned on drinking right then was soaking into the cement and I was listening to Mannheim Steamroller (!!!).
There were so many thoughts whizzing through my head at that particular moment. For instance, I was thinking Why am I so upset over this? This is nothing. But that only served to turn me into more of a weepy mess. You're acting insane over one spilled beer! Get a grip! It was a horrifying tailspin of life is so meaningless, everything is futile, I really despise being a girl, despair is everywhere, does this really mean I am truly upset about something else, something bigger, and so on and so forth. Just standing there, immobilized, still holding my 7 remaining beers and looking down at that 8th beer, a lake around my feet, listening to Mannheim Steamroller's "Carol of the Bells", the song that never seems to end, I was terribly disgusted with myself.
I went inside and listened to "Once in a Lifetime" (Talking Heads) and it has never felt so relevant as it did right then.
There is no happy ending or moral to this. It just is.
xx
ps
Did you know that Sunday is the most popular day to view porn?
And did you know that Thanksgiving is the least popular day in the entire year to view porn?
Interesting, huh.
