Or alternately titled, "How a dysfunctional relationship is surprisingly and maddeningly functional."
J: What are you writing about?
Me: The advantages of being ugly.
J: How would you know anything on the subject?
Me: I live it everyday.
J: Unbelievable. You are so full of horseshit. Why can't you just see yourself the way others see you? The way I see you?
Me: It doesn't matter what they think. It matters what I think. And fuckyouverymuch. Why don't you give me an example of someone, anyone, who isn't full of shit at some point? I admit, sometimes I am, but not on this.
J: Me, I'm your example. And I'm a guy, so if I didn't find you sexually attractive, it doesn't matter how smart or fun or interesting you are, I'd never fuck you.
Me: You have such a way with words; I'd like to wring your self-righteous neck.
J: *unfazed* Well, how about this: Is there anything more frustrating than a pretty girl who truly believes she's fugly?
Me: How about someone who enjoys kicking a girl when she's already down?
J: How about someone who refers to herself in the third person?
Me: How about how infuriating this conversation is!
J: How about you suck my dick?
xo
