adele

I'm feeling very cynical today and I'm not sure where it's coming from. My aunt is having a party and the thought of socializing is so unattractive right now. Sometimes it's more of a pain in the ass than usual to act like I care or to answer empty questions about how school is going for me.

I have work tomorrow and thankfully that will cheer me up.

I'm looking forward to xmas. I want to be home, to see my family and friends and also hopefully to see the farm covered in snow. I'm looking forward to the little bowl of M&Ms and Hersey kisses that my mom keeps out, the smell of horses, fresh air, hugs, the music that always seems to fill the house, and carpet. The last one is odd, but I haven't walked barefoot on carpet in what seems like a long time. Sometimes it just feels nice.

So, like I said I'm looking forward to xmas, but then I'm also looking forward to it being over and being back in the city. I'll have a month of no classes. To work more, start going to the gym again, and basically to do whatever the fuck I want without something looming over me. It also will mean that I'll no longer have to be living on such a short budget with the need to save for presents over with. I'll be able to get another piercing and perhaps, if I still want to by then, dye my hair black. I figure it will either look really good or really bad and if it's the later of the case then I can just dye it back. Doing so will satisfy my desire to have something different going on with my hair and save me from cutting it all off.