Dude I am such a fucking flake. I'm always bitching about how I don't have any friends and no one ever wants to go do shit with me-- but everyone called/wrote me to try and hang out this weekend and I didn't even bother to check my messages until now. Dammit, people! I wasn't expecting that! Shit!
I could've used some company on Sunday... I was stuck working the beer truck at the Pow Wow all day... which was pretty fucking boring (except for the part where I got all the free beer I wanted. That was pretty rad.) It's not even like I was pouring the beer or getting to be outside in the sun-- I was holed up in Dan's dirty van, taking money through the little window-slot and handing back tickets. For like... 10 hours straight. And everyone kept asking me where my sister was (I was filling in for her, and everyone there knows her and has no idea who the fuck I am.) Which was really fucking annoying. And I kept getting hit on by shady old hippy-type guys.
But finally my sister showed up and it got dark and there were these really fucking amazing fire-dancers down on the water and a big wood-thing that they were going to set on fire at the end-- but then all of a sudden it was POURING down rain-- a HUGE freak storm, everyone fled and the park was empty in like 30 seconds. P---- and everyone were rushing around like crazy to put all the sound equipment away and we were just sitting in the van, drinking beer and laughing at them (I turned around and P---- was butt naked-- didn't want to get his clothes wet, I guess?)
So then we all left. I gave a ride to these two random guys (which was uncharacteristically nice of me) and then came home and wrote Adam this crazy drunken ramblking e-mail about our relationship that made no sense and I regretted sending almost immediately. Fun.
Monday I found out that my parents are cutting me off (my mom finally talked my dad into letting HER take care of things-- too bad she's a fucking psycho!)... so Ada's going to have to find a job that pays her bills right fucking now, or suck it up and move back home for a while.
So, yeah-- any job- hunting advice (or job offers!) would be really helpful. Alternately, please convince me that moving back home with your parents after going to college and being on your own for years is "very common" and "not at all pathetic!" Right?!? Right......
P.S. Now I'm drinking (cinco de mayo, baby!) and I want to continue with this...
He CLAIMS that he understands, and would be okay about me moving back ... but I can tell he's REALLY not thrilled about the idea. Whaatever. Fuck that. The last thing I need to worry about in making this decision is what HE's going to think about me if I do it. But it's unavoidable really. And of course I DO care what he thinks.
The idea of moving home is attractive for many reasons... my metaphor is I'm in the water, right? struggling against the current, trying to reach the opposite shore. Only lately, I'm more just treading water, struggling just to float in one place. Moving home would be such a relief... let the strong hands pull me up and drag me back to shore. I'm on dry land, I can relax and breath and catch up on everything. But... I'm back where I started. The shore I'm trying to reach is now that much further away. All my progress (and there HAS been progress!) is lost. And if I stay here too long I risk forgetting how to swim. Which is going to make the journey THAT much harder when I next attempt it.
Do you ever feel like you really should've taken swimming lessons, back when you had the leisure to?
I could've used some company on Sunday... I was stuck working the beer truck at the Pow Wow all day... which was pretty fucking boring (except for the part where I got all the free beer I wanted. That was pretty rad.) It's not even like I was pouring the beer or getting to be outside in the sun-- I was holed up in Dan's dirty van, taking money through the little window-slot and handing back tickets. For like... 10 hours straight. And everyone kept asking me where my sister was (I was filling in for her, and everyone there knows her and has no idea who the fuck I am.) Which was really fucking annoying. And I kept getting hit on by shady old hippy-type guys.
But finally my sister showed up and it got dark and there were these really fucking amazing fire-dancers down on the water and a big wood-thing that they were going to set on fire at the end-- but then all of a sudden it was POURING down rain-- a HUGE freak storm, everyone fled and the park was empty in like 30 seconds. P---- and everyone were rushing around like crazy to put all the sound equipment away and we were just sitting in the van, drinking beer and laughing at them (I turned around and P---- was butt naked-- didn't want to get his clothes wet, I guess?)
So then we all left. I gave a ride to these two random guys (which was uncharacteristically nice of me) and then came home and wrote Adam this crazy drunken ramblking e-mail about our relationship that made no sense and I regretted sending almost immediately. Fun.
Monday I found out that my parents are cutting me off (my mom finally talked my dad into letting HER take care of things-- too bad she's a fucking psycho!)... so Ada's going to have to find a job that pays her bills right fucking now, or suck it up and move back home for a while.
So, yeah-- any job- hunting advice (or job offers!) would be really helpful. Alternately, please convince me that moving back home with your parents after going to college and being on your own for years is "very common" and "not at all pathetic!" Right?!? Right......
P.S. Now I'm drinking (cinco de mayo, baby!) and I want to continue with this...
He CLAIMS that he understands, and would be okay about me moving back ... but I can tell he's REALLY not thrilled about the idea. Whaatever. Fuck that. The last thing I need to worry about in making this decision is what HE's going to think about me if I do it. But it's unavoidable really. And of course I DO care what he thinks.
The idea of moving home is attractive for many reasons... my metaphor is I'm in the water, right? struggling against the current, trying to reach the opposite shore. Only lately, I'm more just treading water, struggling just to float in one place. Moving home would be such a relief... let the strong hands pull me up and drag me back to shore. I'm on dry land, I can relax and breath and catch up on everything. But... I'm back where I started. The shore I'm trying to reach is now that much further away. All my progress (and there HAS been progress!) is lost. And if I stay here too long I risk forgetting how to swim. Which is going to make the journey THAT much harder when I next attempt it.
Do you ever feel like you really should've taken swimming lessons, back when you had the leisure to?
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
chris_sick:
you didn't sharpen the long knives enough, that's my guess.
lalita:
You have my grandma's name. :-)