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So I bought this plant, this wierd little cactus-thing, recently. It's the strangest plant I have ever seen. It has these fat green fuzzy leaves that are roundish, but taper into four or five little claw things... it's hard to describe, but they look exactly like the paws of some kind of small fuzzy green animal. Imagine a plant made up of a cluster of like thirty little green paws. It's definitely more animal than plant, at least in personality. I pet it and talked to it the whole car ride home, not because I am the kind of person who talks to plants (I'm not), but because it just seemed appropriate with this thing. I was going to name it, too.

I put it in my window sill and promptly forgot about it for two weeks, because I am bad with pets. The other day I remembered and went to pick it up to water it... and half the little paws just dropped right off. I almost screamed.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking... it's a fucking plant. So the leaves fell off. Big deal. But imagine you went to pick up your pet gerbil or whatever, and it's paws just FELL OFF.

It was DISTURBING, okay!

In other, somewhat related news, I ran over a bird on the highway yesterday on my way to work. Not just hit, but RAN OVER. There was nothing I could do: I was going 75 and I didn't see it untill too late. One minute it was in the middle of my lane, right in front of me, pecking at something on the road... the next, it was a cloud of feathers behind me.

This was equal parts disturbing and hilarious. (Is there a word for something like that? I bet there is in German.)

I am a force of destruction.