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ad_a_etoile

OAKLAND

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Nov 21, 2006

Nov 21, 2006
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Drug factory and phone calls
The body is a little drug factory so why do we need to add outside substances to it. All you medical school freaks know this. From adrenaline to dopamine it's all produced in us, if you are ill and need to take a medicine to aid in your healing then we should take it. Though when you're healing needs no medicine and you are still intoxicating the system there's a need for practice (sitting).
To look at the "I" that needs this addiction. First, lets move from the ideal of cellular addiction that is completely the alcoholic or junky; lets look at the "I drink to loosen me up" or the "I can relax once I smoke", so if you don't have a drink or joint you aren't loose? Are you incapable of being you without that joint or drink? Has that intoxicant become your aide? Now with this idea of addiction in place try to think about the next time you need to loosen up to be yourself. Who is the self that needs this, the "I" in all of this? You will find this to be a gate way or entrance into some profound realizations of who you really are and a step into the thing called mindfulness.
When you have to have intoxicants to feel like everyone else there needs to be some practice (sitting), with thoughts of where and why we do these actions. Why can't you be happy and jolly without these intoxicants? Why do you need to fit in like a thirteen year old in junior high? We are social animals, yes! So why degrade this gift (your body) for acceptance? There are actions that are voluntary and involuntary; the heart pumps involuntary and the arm moves with voluntary intention to move. You control the fingers but don't control the liver. The involuntary things in your body are a gift not a right.
"If you are so grateful then why do you act like that?" is what Gretchen said this morning in response to her man when he got angry and was yelling at her. When someone is overcome with anger and they say they value you and honor you it's hard to see it when they are attacking with anger. Anger is an intoxicant and a hard one to handle. It clouds the intention of real communication. I live with a very angry person and from time to time they fly off the handle at me and I just sit realizing that the intoxicant is in control and that it isn't the real person there, which behind this intoxicant is my friend. When the moment has calmed I tell them about how their actions weren't kind.
When you are yelling at me you are hitting me in the one place I have no defense the heart, at least when you physically hit me I can bloke it with my arms.
I think phone call conversations are some of the best as they put so much on conversation and less on mannerisms and expressions. Monkeys will kill each other if one looks at the other wrongly. I feel that these mannerisms will affect the intentions of the most profound point or heart felt expression as we will shut down when we feel physically threatened. We are animals at the core and we have reactions that are out of our control as the little drug factory above pumps us up for the "what if" (fight or flight).

Remember the greatest path of the Buddha was just sitting and breathing. When you run away from the uncomfortable self you are running away from Buddha.

Om mani padme hum

I hurt myself today to see if i still feel
more ink and less skin. As i sell off another section of my flesh the pain burns the leaking heart shut. mmmmmm im a sick little thing.



im a little tilted in this pic and the tat is uber fresh, puffy and shiney.

elly:
Thanks! They aren't mine haha

Real living is freedom from the crutch of drug and alcohol use as well as anger and hatefulness. Running and/or hiding from something not only makes things more difficult and complicated, but it also causes more pain in the end. Dealing with the problem straight away is how I try to live my life. People try to tell me that living the truth is so hard, but to me it seems easier... So I totally understand what you're saying.
Dec 21, 2006

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