I wanted your heart for the last time
I want to be in your bed
I want your words to colour
All that's been said
And I will love you when the devil is blind
I wanted your heart but you didn't want mine
This is as close as I get
Falling for things I never thought I'd find myself falling for
Magazine - "I Wanted Your Heart" (1978)
Well, y'know what? It wasn't that bad a weekend in the end. But it has left me feeling a little confused...
Friday night - went out, got pissed. Ended up in a car park at 2am talking absolute crap and eating burgers with a mate. Fun. Until the hangover kicked in.
But, as it happened, my wish came true - the lads decided that "Rock of Ages" did sound like a top idea after all and so off we went. Muchos heads were banged and devil signs thrown by all present. It rocked.
Unfortunately, here is where it gets complicated. Also at "Rock of Ages" was emogirl and it seems things are well and truly over between her and me.
No big arguments or similar but...y'know when you're chatting to someone and desperately trying to steer things on to the "so what's the situation with you and me then?" thing and it just won't happen? That was last night. Ah well, plenty more fish in the sea as they say... 
Decided to do the whole retail therapy thing today to try and forget about it and picked up some good stuff including the first two Specials albums and the first two Magazine albums for a fiver each and some A-Team and Knight Rider DVD's for a similar price. I was feeling a bit better. Then, queueing at the checkout, I ran into her.
My ex, that is. Who I hadn't seen in over a year. We got chatting, caught up with each other and went for coffee. And it went surprisingly well. So well in fact that we swapped new mobile numbers and agreed we'd call each other and have a night out together some time soon.
Now...don't get me wrong, she's a nice person. She's really sweet and caring and has a fun sense of humour. And, to be honest, I wouldn't mind giving it another go. There's just one thing stopping me...and there is no easy way of saying this but...basically, she's a chav (please forgive me father I promise to say three Ozzy Osbournes and two Joe Strummers before I go to sleep tonight). Prefers Christina Aguilera to the Clash, prefers superclubs to rock clubs...basically it drove me totally up the wall last time we were going out that, apart from enjoying each others' company we had nothing whatsoever in common. And do I really want to slide back into a life of being dragged out to horrible "superclubs" and townie-infested chain bars and pretending I'm enjoying myself again? Can I really tolerate her staying home in a strop or going out with her mates instead because I'm off to a rock club? Should I be holding out for someone with more similar music/lifestyle tastes to me? Is this the best opportunity I'm gonna get in the foreseeable future? (and, as much as I hate to say this, I think the answer to that last one is a definite "yes").
Sigh...questions, questions, questions. My head needs clearing up and quick. Am I doing the right thing or will I be kicking myself for getting dragged back into this in the near future?...either way, it's not good.
Ah well...hope everyone else had a less confusing weekend than me. Speak soon.
Yorkie
I want to be in your bed
I want your words to colour
All that's been said
And I will love you when the devil is blind
I wanted your heart but you didn't want mine
This is as close as I get
Falling for things I never thought I'd find myself falling for
Magazine - "I Wanted Your Heart" (1978)
Well, y'know what? It wasn't that bad a weekend in the end. But it has left me feeling a little confused...
Friday night - went out, got pissed. Ended up in a car park at 2am talking absolute crap and eating burgers with a mate. Fun. Until the hangover kicked in.
But, as it happened, my wish came true - the lads decided that "Rock of Ages" did sound like a top idea after all and so off we went. Muchos heads were banged and devil signs thrown by all present. It rocked.
Unfortunately, here is where it gets complicated. Also at "Rock of Ages" was emogirl and it seems things are well and truly over between her and me.
No big arguments or similar but...y'know when you're chatting to someone and desperately trying to steer things on to the "so what's the situation with you and me then?" thing and it just won't happen? That was last night. Ah well, plenty more fish in the sea as they say...
Decided to do the whole retail therapy thing today to try and forget about it and picked up some good stuff including the first two Specials albums and the first two Magazine albums for a fiver each and some A-Team and Knight Rider DVD's for a similar price. I was feeling a bit better. Then, queueing at the checkout, I ran into her.
My ex, that is. Who I hadn't seen in over a year. We got chatting, caught up with each other and went for coffee. And it went surprisingly well. So well in fact that we swapped new mobile numbers and agreed we'd call each other and have a night out together some time soon.
Now...don't get me wrong, she's a nice person. She's really sweet and caring and has a fun sense of humour. And, to be honest, I wouldn't mind giving it another go. There's just one thing stopping me...and there is no easy way of saying this but...basically, she's a chav (please forgive me father I promise to say three Ozzy Osbournes and two Joe Strummers before I go to sleep tonight). Prefers Christina Aguilera to the Clash, prefers superclubs to rock clubs...basically it drove me totally up the wall last time we were going out that, apart from enjoying each others' company we had nothing whatsoever in common. And do I really want to slide back into a life of being dragged out to horrible "superclubs" and townie-infested chain bars and pretending I'm enjoying myself again? Can I really tolerate her staying home in a strop or going out with her mates instead because I'm off to a rock club? Should I be holding out for someone with more similar music/lifestyle tastes to me? Is this the best opportunity I'm gonna get in the foreseeable future? (and, as much as I hate to say this, I think the answer to that last one is a definite "yes").
Sigh...questions, questions, questions. My head needs clearing up and quick. Am I doing the right thing or will I be kicking myself for getting dragged back into this in the near future?...either way, it's not good.
Ah well...hope everyone else had a less confusing weekend than me. Speak soon.
Yorkie
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
charley:
I am so hungry at this very minute its making my mouth water 
october:
eek! the ex situation sounds like a difficult one 