acidstar726

another day..dayz..goes by..im left in complete confusion as usaul..MY CASE IS SIMPLE..my heart is torn..right down the middle.. like it has been for 4 years..the complications and intertwinment of the situatution, and the two BEST FRIENDS that i have grown to be throughly inraptured in, is just the beginning..to state in easier terms..i am IN LOVE with two of the most amazing boys that i have ever known..4 years is along time when your only 18 and your life, personality, and the world around you is changing so rapidly at all times. And i cant help myself..IJUSTCANT!!!! i want to do what is right..and i want to go with my heart and be aware of the people around me and how i affect them.. I WANT TO BE A GOOD PERSON.. my situation with these two people is so entirely deep rooted and thier is so many memories and emotions swirling at all times.. i cant help but want to stand completely still...hoping to not make any spontaneous desicions (which i always do) that could lead ultimately to fucking myself over (which i am also famous for).. i want to have it all and nothing at the same time.. i want not feel nothing and everything at the same time.. i want to love and not feel guilty for that energy to be dispursed in multiple directions... i normally work well under pressure..but this is rediculous..and different..this is matters of the mind,body, and soul....this is matters of the HEART..my heart.. and i cant help but care..

~ on a more pleasent note, my tattoo is doing well..and healing up quite nicely..halloween was awesome...i was a courtney love fairy again for the 3rd year... and one of my best friends in the world who i havent 'really' spoken to in 3 years..is now FREE and back to funloving self again..*huge smile*..
life is right where is always is..all the way up and all the way down.. ill just be thankful for now...