acidslug

Oxford went better than expected. Got about a dozen free books. Finally (finally!) finished Name of the Rose, it only took most of the summer. The advantage to reading a book so dense and complex is that when you read something a little more casual, say Samurai Shortstop, you can breeze through it between lunch and tea-time. Nice to just sit down and read a book. Maybe I'll read a couple more light things before I start back to work on the seventh.

Oh, I'm also in the middle of day two of an almost-constant asthma attack, and I don't get to go to the doctor until tomorrow afternoon. I do not enjoy it. I feel constantly as if I'm stuck in a room where they are slowly drawing a vaccum. Like the all the oxygen in the world is slowly leaking out into space. I'm dizzy and headaches, constantly gulping for breaths that just will not come. Last night my back was sore from exertion, and still today it's like I have a pair of iron bands around my chest that stop me from drawing full breaths. Maybe one in ten actually fills my lungs.

Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Asthma is all mental. You must tell yourself to stay calm. You are not suffocating, though it seems like it. You are not drowning. You must tell yourself that, yes, you are breathing, even though it seems like you are not. The primal instinct to claw and thrash against the rising, killing tide must be choked back. When you fight, then you really *will* suffocate. You must learn to just accept and wait and, eventually, you can breathe again.