Well an update for anyone keeping tabs on this but can't say hi... 
I got a call at work tonight. Come to find out, the youngest sister and the same lil 15 year old friend were harassed by the two fucks again.
I stopped off after work and talked to the girls father, you memeber... the cop. After talking and realizing the little pricks are hated by all but can't really be gotten because of evidence of wrong doing, I mentioned good ole' fashioned vigilante mayhem. After a few minutes, I was basically given his blessing and told that he would be slow to respond to such a call this weekend.
After kicking around a few ideas, from waiting, to 2 counts of murder 1, I believe I have decided on the best possible course of action.....
I'm going to hunt them down and stomp them until they fucking beg and cry, then twice as much. I'm going to fucking break no less than twice as many bones as I did last time. I think it was.... 25 or so between them. They like knives so fucking much..... I can handle a knife fight... 2 vs. one.... I can handle this. It's been a very long time since I was into knife play but... In my favour I can also say I have very few scars. I really, even now don't want to take a fucking life, even ones such as theirs.
Times like these, I miss my friends.... Ruben loved nothing more than a good fight. But then again the little bastard was a berserker....I've seen him psych up for a fight then just go feral... take a bat to the head and just turn and tear into the guy.
I'd even settle for David, not the best fighter.... terrible with a blade but trustworthy to stay till the end.
I have no one here. Tis okay though, I've been alone most of my life. I will finish this, one way or another. You do NOT fuck with my family period, the end.
Familia primoris ardor est.
Fuck this makes me miss my friends.
R.I.P.
Darryl
Ruben
David
Mike
John
Curtis
and all the others who died before I could stop it.
I don't want to hear about how it isn't my fault, or how I couldn't have done anything. Some I couldn't stop.... but some... like David....... if I had been there...... If I hadn't lost touch with him..... he was like me, he felt responsible for the others. We were the last two.... then we lost touch and he fell into grief and drugs. I found his e-mail, I sent him my number.... The first call I got was his confession of what he had done.... then I had to listen as he shot himself. Now I AM the last one. And I think my luck/time maybe running out. A couple of wonderful people have helped me stop my free fall I'm no longer plummeting..... I'm simply slowly gliding to the bottom of the cuff. Speed of decent isn't important.... death await at the bottom either way. Soon or Late, now or 50 years from now.
Maybe if I found someone..... I could have a real reason to gain some altitude. Even my desire to raise at least 1 kid and pass on what I have.... I just need to feel again. I am emotionally dead. I feel rage, I feel deep black grief. When I am with either of those 2 people I begin to feel like I'm human again... but.... they are not here, there is no one in my day to day life that can serve to stabilize me. I 'talk' to them nightly but... it isn't the same... I'm just treading water... waiting to sink.
I need a drink....or ten...... and some sleep.
I still haven't slept since..... last Tuesday.... or maybe Monday, I dunno anymore.
fuck it....I gonna go toss and turn until work.
updates..... maybe, if anyone cares.
Acid
I got a call at work tonight. Come to find out, the youngest sister and the same lil 15 year old friend were harassed by the two fucks again.
I stopped off after work and talked to the girls father, you memeber... the cop. After talking and realizing the little pricks are hated by all but can't really be gotten because of evidence of wrong doing, I mentioned good ole' fashioned vigilante mayhem. After a few minutes, I was basically given his blessing and told that he would be slow to respond to such a call this weekend.
After kicking around a few ideas, from waiting, to 2 counts of murder 1, I believe I have decided on the best possible course of action.....
I'm going to hunt them down and stomp them until they fucking beg and cry, then twice as much. I'm going to fucking break no less than twice as many bones as I did last time. I think it was.... 25 or so between them. They like knives so fucking much..... I can handle a knife fight... 2 vs. one.... I can handle this. It's been a very long time since I was into knife play but... In my favour I can also say I have very few scars. I really, even now don't want to take a fucking life, even ones such as theirs.
Times like these, I miss my friends.... Ruben loved nothing more than a good fight. But then again the little bastard was a berserker....I've seen him psych up for a fight then just go feral... take a bat to the head and just turn and tear into the guy.
I'd even settle for David, not the best fighter.... terrible with a blade but trustworthy to stay till the end.
I have no one here. Tis okay though, I've been alone most of my life. I will finish this, one way or another. You do NOT fuck with my family period, the end.
Familia primoris ardor est.
Fuck this makes me miss my friends.
R.I.P.
Darryl
Ruben
David
Mike
John
Curtis
and all the others who died before I could stop it.
I don't want to hear about how it isn't my fault, or how I couldn't have done anything. Some I couldn't stop.... but some... like David....... if I had been there...... If I hadn't lost touch with him..... he was like me, he felt responsible for the others. We were the last two.... then we lost touch and he fell into grief and drugs. I found his e-mail, I sent him my number.... The first call I got was his confession of what he had done.... then I had to listen as he shot himself. Now I AM the last one. And I think my luck/time maybe running out. A couple of wonderful people have helped me stop my free fall I'm no longer plummeting..... I'm simply slowly gliding to the bottom of the cuff. Speed of decent isn't important.... death await at the bottom either way. Soon or Late, now or 50 years from now.
Maybe if I found someone..... I could have a real reason to gain some altitude. Even my desire to raise at least 1 kid and pass on what I have.... I just need to feel again. I am emotionally dead. I feel rage, I feel deep black grief. When I am with either of those 2 people I begin to feel like I'm human again... but.... they are not here, there is no one in my day to day life that can serve to stabilize me. I 'talk' to them nightly but... it isn't the same... I'm just treading water... waiting to sink.
I need a drink....or ten...... and some sleep.
I still haven't slept since..... last Tuesday.... or maybe Monday, I dunno anymore.
fuck it....I gonna go toss and turn until work.
updates..... maybe, if anyone cares.
Acid
Thanks for the luv. I don't even have a land line so no dial-up for me, but I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I'll be back online soon. Sooooon.