I came to a realisation recently...
I highly doubt that I will ever be in a serious relationship ever again. This is not because I doubt that I will meet someone, because I have met people, they have met me, and things were great. Rather that I just don't think that I am relationship person anymore. I was once in love, in a serious relationship, but I was different person back then. She will probably remain my one and only true love and serious relationship.
Now why have I given up on it all? Because I have come to realise that I am a very independent person now. My life has become entirely about myself and my work. It is based on my hobbies, my work, and my freedom. I need to be free to do as I please, spend countless hours at work, or in front of the computer, or camera, or music, or anything. I know that I would feel suffocated if I was ever in a relationship again, regardless of how open it would be.
I can also tell that I would never be 100% satisfied with one person for any length of time. I have a pretty good case of ADHD as well as OCD, you put those two together, and you get a pretty interesting combination. Certain things in my life must remain routine and the same, but others must always be changing. Example; my close friends are usually the same, but more casual friends change often. I love meeting new people. I love dating new people and experiencing new things with different people. Ever since my ex, I haven't been satisfied with one person for any length of time greater then a few weeks. This isn't the person, but more just me (as I have met amazing people in the past couple years). I just know that I can't be with one person for a long period of time.
Now, I am not swearing off all female contact. I am more just restricting it to casual dating, little flings, and "fun". I would rather just enjoy life on my own now. I am a hopeless romantic, so that doesn't exactly help my case at all... but at the same time, it helps me understand it and will help me to better make sure I don't hurt people along the way. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone, especially people I get close with.
Ah well! Time to get out and just meet people, have some fun... and stop worrying!
Having said that, I really need to get out for more photo taking in the very near future. My camera is collecting up far too much dust. And my music, oh how I have neglected thee... soon enough!
I highly doubt that I will ever be in a serious relationship ever again. This is not because I doubt that I will meet someone, because I have met people, they have met me, and things were great. Rather that I just don't think that I am relationship person anymore. I was once in love, in a serious relationship, but I was different person back then. She will probably remain my one and only true love and serious relationship.
Now why have I given up on it all? Because I have come to realise that I am a very independent person now. My life has become entirely about myself and my work. It is based on my hobbies, my work, and my freedom. I need to be free to do as I please, spend countless hours at work, or in front of the computer, or camera, or music, or anything. I know that I would feel suffocated if I was ever in a relationship again, regardless of how open it would be.
I can also tell that I would never be 100% satisfied with one person for any length of time. I have a pretty good case of ADHD as well as OCD, you put those two together, and you get a pretty interesting combination. Certain things in my life must remain routine and the same, but others must always be changing. Example; my close friends are usually the same, but more casual friends change often. I love meeting new people. I love dating new people and experiencing new things with different people. Ever since my ex, I haven't been satisfied with one person for any length of time greater then a few weeks. This isn't the person, but more just me (as I have met amazing people in the past couple years). I just know that I can't be with one person for a long period of time.
Now, I am not swearing off all female contact. I am more just restricting it to casual dating, little flings, and "fun". I would rather just enjoy life on my own now. I am a hopeless romantic, so that doesn't exactly help my case at all... but at the same time, it helps me understand it and will help me to better make sure I don't hurt people along the way. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone, especially people I get close with.
Ah well! Time to get out and just meet people, have some fun... and stop worrying!
Having said that, I really need to get out for more photo taking in the very near future. My camera is collecting up far too much dust. And my music, oh how I have neglected thee... soon enough!
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And I've started taking more drastic steps to find her. Trying to use my contacts at Rogers (I worked tech support until a couple months ago) to get someone at Bell to check their database for her. That should bypass the unlisted.
Come to think of it, that's pretty creepy. But I doubt I'll be able to find her any other way.