accuser

Can you use people for their minds?

Say I know a girl. I don't expect much long-term compatibility between us, but she interests me and she's hot. But I expect personality clashes, and have no expectation that it would last very long. So, sure, to one extent you could say I'm using her for her body (she's hot, after all), but the primary motivator in asking her out would be because I suspect spending time around her will make me smarter. And girls who have things to teach me get a multiplier factored into their sexy.

But anyway - if I went into a relationship with the exact same attitude, but without thinking she'd have something to teach me, it seems like I'd be a jerk. But I suspect that the responses I'll receive for this (if I received more than one or two responses on a blog, for once) will be more sympathetic, telling me that not every relationship has to last forever, and that a person's intellect is a fundamental part of that person, and that appreciating that isn't "using" someone in the same sense as people can "use" other people for their bodies.

But I don't know. Bodies seem like a pretty fundamental part of the individual as well. You can tell because the person changes when the body changes. How we view ourselves does seem to be, in a powerful way, tied to what we expect to see in the mirror.

So is one alright, and the other not? Or are they the same - either okay or not okay?

If I was smarter, I could just reason through these things myself and I wouldn't have to write them up as half-baked, pop philosophy here.

I can think of just a few girls who match the description I posted. Thinking about it, they're all in academic fields. Shit. I picked the wrong major. Maybe I need to go back to school with some night classes or something...