abyssia

Do you have no music where you are now?

When I got my first flat, I bought the stereo before I bought a bed or a cooker. I was sleeping on a matress on the floor. My cooking was done on a camping stove that used a small gas cartridge, which was a challenge when two pots were needed. But I had music and that made me happy

My type is INTP and the description is a good fit, but I am more well rounded than the description on the link. I was very impressed by the test, and that so few questions could identify my personality.

I have a pile of vinyl albums to record onto the puter, but the wires that connect the stylus to the tonerarm need replacing and they are not easy to find.

A while ago, I recorded some onto video tape, which sounds nuts to most people, but the audio qualities of video tape are very good.

Gals to hear that you have music - no pun intended

The fucking thing is Mer is that you HAVEN'T grown accustomed to living that way. Why the fuck should you HAVE to be accustomed to it. I do think that when I am working twelve hour shifts for days upon days upon fucking days straight I think, fuck, I should be accustomed to this. And I wonder who I am doing it for and to what end?
No shit Demoness, for all of our talking and e-mailing I am seriously beginning to think that I should just make peace with the fact that I will NOT find the same kind of peace that pacifys them. Maybe I'm not a bad fucker, maybe I'm just not like them, well that part of known for fucking eons.
If friends, family and fucking lovers want to deny that part of me that they can't deal with? Then fuck them, I will hide and protect those that I care for from the part of me that they can't fucking deal with. But in the end I die alone and I will be true to myself.........L8er Mer..........AJ

Jesus (ho, ho).

Well, like I said, I originally planned on doing church work for a living, in the inner city, where it really matters.

After losing my mother, my marriage, my career, most of my money, and my direction all in the course of about 14 months, my outlook on life changed quite a bit.

I still have my faith, but it's changed some in nature. Although, to be honest, I was a bit of a theological maverick even in college when I was planning on a life in ministry.

It's too complex to post on a journal comment; in college I was actually planning on writing my own theology book, just basically explaining my view on the real message of the Bible and the real spirit of Christianity and how to live the way I thought Christ really intended his followers to live. Incidentally, I think it has practically nothing to do with the way most mainstream Christians in this country live.

It's been a long time since I've thought about it in systematic terms.

Incidentally, I'm a little bummed that no one commented on my journal to tell me to get busy writing the books I've been talking about writing.

I started the one on Portugal tonight. Unfortunately, I have to go in to work at 10am tomorrow instead of 3pm, so I can't get really rolling on it all night as I'd prefer, since I still have to work until 11pm. Hello, overtime!

I've been asked why I didn't take the opportunity of my IT career's ending to go back into church work, but being divorced, even when it was your spouse having the extended affair and everything else, makes it really difficult. It's a huge stigma in the church, getting divorced. I didn't want to deal with it.

Plus, for a while, all I really wanted to do was disappear into the bottom of a whiskey bottle.

[Edited on Sep 28, 2005 10:48PM]

Hey Mer, I'm going to write you an email, after that last one you sent me you deserve it......L8er.......Aj

i'm missing ya .. you been ok?

where are you? call me!

hey where are you? .. you're being missed by me

Hello Mer, my company has been wicked fucking busy trying to make deadlines. I've been working like mad. I just wanted to tell you hello, and wondering how have you been? Anyway, I have to go. Large paychecks and wicked early bedtimes. Fuck those checks, no shit..........L8er Demoness.........AJ

yeah i changed it again .. the quest for my perfect p pic is ongoing .. i'm not the most photogenic ya know

mer <3 <3 <3
thanks doll.

you should sneak onto aim or yahoo and tell me
just hit me through sg

aww no problem .. i think i may like the reactions to it more than writing it ...

because not many people leave comments .. i need to be stroked sometimes ..

err so i can be motivated to write more

oh nevermind

~ Alien

Hey babe, as for as I'm concerned when it comes to fucking showing forth, Emotion, Passion and pain then you are totally it doll. When you fucking write there is so much PASSION in what you betray that it is completely no holds barred. Its like " Alright fuckers this is how I feel today, dig it or don't love it or leave it. " But you write full of discontent. Who the hell couldn't relate to discontent? Any fucker out here that might live at home, that might see a darker future and might be scared to dare. I, like you are completely aware of our personal cages and when someone actually writes all the shit out then it REALLY does have a wicked empowering effect. A weakness exposed to the light is no longer subdued within darkness. So fucking keep your journal goddamn explosive and I'll keep loving it doll.........L8er..........AJ

hey .. ya know i don't even like posting there any more .. ever since i found a plagiarized piece that was from a site that i moderated ..

sooo .. it was a good evening .. beth caught me singing to tunes on the sly and kept teasing me all night ..

~ Alien

Hey Mer, I love it when you seem to write with your teeth clenched Demoness........L8er.......AJ

LOL Mer, nothing like highschool, for the fucking good and the bad...........L8er........AJ

This site really drains my attention span for deprecating words...but never your deprecating words...in all honesty, I think a contrived persona and or some expansive abstractions might take the introspection to a new level of expression....it may help to change the viewing filter of the prose, you know expand the irony...same old same old......hey, I still havent decided if I like epitaffy or not...I'll probably know in like a year...hahaha...a year...I have such a fucked relationship with my words...I just have no way of being honest with myself...i try...and try...and try...to no avail...so I just keep jibber-jabbering away...metaphor slinging.

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!

Hot as always..........Not just talkin about da weather .....