i could feel it as it happened. i could smell it and see it and taste - but there was no sound. i know he made sound - if only the creaking of the bed or his zipper. i know i must have made some rather awkward gagging, choking sounds. i wondered how he got his hands around my neck like that. how he kept...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
the end comes, again and again.
so too, the beginning.
time comes and time goes and it's time again for something new.
something true.
something that will sooth and comfort.
something that will stimulate and arouse.
something that will challenge and invigorate.
something that will evolve....
shiva keeps his drum beat for us.
i know time.
i see the cycles of life.
i know the...
Read More
so too, the beginning.
time comes and time goes and it's time again for something new.
something true.
something that will sooth and comfort.
something that will stimulate and arouse.
something that will challenge and invigorate.
something that will evolve....
shiva keeps his drum beat for us.
i know time.
i see the cycles of life.
i know the...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
drrtyrocstr:
Sorry, I am all over the map tonite. Is it a full moon?
Smile damn it! Your much prettier that way...
Smile damn it! Your much prettier that way...
daekrys:
lack of a job, and my girlfriend living 500 miles away isn't helping either. and that wasn't the kind of comment i expected from you.
he was close
almost
wipe the table
move the stairs
into me
he nearly came
open the gates?
close the gates.
nothing to fight?
self
drippingly i sit
i spin
the trail of a snail
a slug
no salt please
trust
i am no enemy
i tried to be what i am not
run away
how many faces do i have?
none
i am not...
Read More
almost
wipe the table
move the stairs
into me
he nearly came
open the gates?
close the gates.
nothing to fight?
self
drippingly i sit
i spin
the trail of a snail
a slug
no salt please
trust
i am no enemy
i tried to be what i am not
run away
how many faces do i have?
none
i am not...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
amok:
Hi Abyssia... I'm glad you enjoy my journal entries! I also enjoy your poetry very much. Do you ever put your words to music? Do you sing? I would love to hear your words in music.
And yes, on the subject of tears, I suppose I can cry in the presence of my Scott - although I've only done that once, a couple of weeks ago when Stripey died. Usually I do still keep such emotions to myself - in the shower, or in bed in the night. I don't know why that is... I've just always been that way.
Anyway, thanks for your birthday wishes. I was NOT looking forward to this one at all. Feared it for years. But now it's here, and what can I do about it.... ignore it.
Much love.
And yes, on the subject of tears, I suppose I can cry in the presence of my Scott - although I've only done that once, a couple of weeks ago when Stripey died. Usually I do still keep such emotions to myself - in the shower, or in bed in the night. I don't know why that is... I've just always been that way.
Anyway, thanks for your birthday wishes. I was NOT looking forward to this one at all. Feared it for years. But now it's here, and what can I do about it.... ignore it.
Much love.
drrtyrocstr:
Glad I could make you smile.
I just have a bunch of stuff spew<sp> out of my head, my fingers don't keep up very well...lol
Its really a feeling that comes over me. I don't try to right anything. Same thing with my art work. I wish I could purge more often.
I am very well with being me, ty. There are a few things that need to be changed, but its my fault they are there, so I live with it. I gave up trying to find myself, cause I was already there.
I will post some writing thursday. Not from me but something that someone who is very dear to me.
Have a great day!
Your beautiful!!!
I just have a bunch of stuff spew<sp> out of my head, my fingers don't keep up very well...lol
Its really a feeling that comes over me. I don't try to right anything. Same thing with my art work. I wish I could purge more often.
I am very well with being me, ty. There are a few things that need to be changed, but its my fault they are there, so I live with it. I gave up trying to find myself, cause I was already there.
I will post some writing thursday. Not from me but something that someone who is very dear to me.
Have a great day!
Your beautiful!!!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
yuriel:
im not so terribly interesting... you however
yuriel:
speaking of which be on aim more.....
*sighs at mariposa's hotness as she likes only chicks*
*sighs at mariposa's hotness as she likes only chicks
*
i'm a mer. a mer is an angel with dirty wings. an angel with dirty wings is a fallen angel. a fallen angel is a demon. a demon is ... a lot of things. most of them much nicer than most people think. i'm a mer.
i'm a mer. a mer is a demon who never stopped asking why. i crave certainty. i am a...
Read More
i'm a mer. a mer is a demon who never stopped asking why. i crave certainty. i am a...
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
redfirefaery:
mer, if you want to face your fear, i've been told i am very good at administering death by fire...
i miss you!
i miss you!
drrtyrocstr:
angels have nothing to fear, angels have no death...
...fallen, dirty, or otherwise.
...fallen, dirty, or otherwise.
Tonight's full moon is called the Full Beaver Moon. That made me laugh.
Some thoughts from the Mind ov Minolta:
you've got to suffer to grow.
art is suffering laid bare. so many ways to suffer.
there is pain in all beauty. there is beauty in all things.
Some thoughts from the Mind ov Minolta:
you've got to suffer to grow.
art is suffering laid bare. so many ways to suffer.
there is pain in all beauty. there is beauty in all things.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
redfirefaery:
*give me life, give me pain, give me myself again*~tori amos
i love that song.
i love that song.
aj_paradiselost:
I've just been waking up feeling a bit like fucking shit, no matter what or how much I drink So I figured I'd better give it a fucking break for a bit. So whats new with you Demoness?
this is an update so that no one has to look at the last entry i made. oh, and to wish a happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate it. even those who deep fry not only their turkeys, but their pies! never go for the bad pie, in any form.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
amok:
Thanks Abyssia, for your response to me journal about Stripe. You seem like a person who is capable of connecting with animals very easily, and who respects them very much. Many people just don't have that ability, or don't allow it to happen, with an "it's just an animal" attitude.
I'm sorry you've also have had to go through such horrible decisions, and grief. At least we know that while our animal friends were alive, they lived with all the love we could give them. Unfortunately, not enough animals get that love in life. I will always have pets, no matter how bad the grief is in the end. IThe important thing is that while they are alive, they get lots of love, affection, and treats.
Although I'm not a believer in heaven, at least not for humans, I like to think that Stripe is enjoying an afterlife full of cheese, and cardboard boxes, and lots of toilet paper... and that she is restored to her healthy self, and remembers us.
I'm sorry you've also have had to go through such horrible decisions, and grief. At least we know that while our animal friends were alive, they lived with all the love we could give them. Unfortunately, not enough animals get that love in life. I will always have pets, no matter how bad the grief is in the end. IThe important thing is that while they are alive, they get lots of love, affection, and treats.
Although I'm not a believer in heaven, at least not for humans, I like to think that Stripe is enjoying an afterlife full of cheese, and cardboard boxes, and lots of toilet paper... and that she is restored to her healthy self, and remembers us.
aj_paradiselost:
Hey Demoness, what the fuck is up? Yeah the Doc put me on Fluoxetine. Its just a low level drug that takes the edge off. It just calms stress and anxiety a bit. Its only about 20 mgs and isn't habit forming. Like I was telling you before, feeling caged sucks ass. Anyway doll, I'll talk to you more indepth L8er.
God
slip away
come and play
i don't have anything to say
but i write
type and type
tippity tap tap
skippity doo
wonder if you
would like me much
if you truly knew
that you are me and i am you
boo boo hoo and boo hoo too
hum drum dry
i tickle the ant with the fly
once upon a time
there was...
Read More
slip away
come and play
i don't have anything to say
but i write
type and type
tippity tap tap
skippity doo
wonder if you
would like me much
if you truly knew
that you are me and i am you
boo boo hoo and boo hoo too
hum drum dry
i tickle the ant with the fly
once upon a time
there was...
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
aj_paradiselost:
Don't walk on eggshells around me. I have my moods but I'm not a fucking christian or anything. The past is done and I am done with it. I'm not a bitch. Offend me if you wish.
The fucking reason I said about the time thing is that I found the humor in your post. Shit like that usually requires some degree of spiraling thought and jumbled reasoning. L8er on Demoness.
The fucking reason I said about the time thing is that I found the humor in your post. Shit like that usually requires some degree of spiraling thought and jumbled reasoning. L8er on Demoness.
_gone_:
aye
have fun in ithaca .. yeah .. i concur, bad pie .. in any form sucks .. im making individual pies for deep frying .. sweet potato & pumpkin .. my all time favorite would have to be chocolate pecan
later babe
~ Alien
have fun in ithaca .. yeah .. i concur, bad pie .. in any form sucks .. im making individual pies for deep frying .. sweet potato & pumpkin .. my all time favorite would have to be chocolate pecan
later babe
~ Alien
Why haven't I journaled in a couple of days? Cuz I haven't. And why am I typing this now? Because I am. My neck hurts. My head hurts. I cannot sleep. There is a crying baby and a squawking bird in my range of hearing. The voices are making a soft hum for a change. Thats nice.
People keep asking me how I am. Im...
Read More
People keep asking me how I am. Im...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
killbert:
Soda makes me belch too. Your post reminded me of my last belch. It smelled like a retards vagina. not clean.
aj_paradiselost:
Everything is already forgotten. That was the old me, I was someone else with the following sunset. The sunset that comes upon me tonight will leave me being someone else. We are continually growing arent we? At least that is what they fucking say. Yeah so I'm fucking getting ready to leave for work soon. Maybe I'll grab a coke slushy. They always calm me down when I'm feeling fucking caged. I was going to call out of work for the next fucking three days but with christmas coming that wouldn't be the RESPONSIBLE thing to do, or so I am told. Anyway, the human world of congestion, social order, and resposible citizenship is fucking beckoning, oh and uncle fucking Sam says I owe him something called taxes because my heart beats and I breath. If I don't pay I'm told they'll put my in a literally cage where running under the full moon will be an impossiblity for some time. So take care babe........L8er
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lucabrasi:
Boroughs is a wack, i kinda like ginsberg better.
lucabrasi:
I have a CD of Burroughs reading a story with Kurt Cobain playing guitar. It's creepy. It just always bugged me that Burroughs shot his wife in the face..
I will get more pics up. I just had a very bad day yesturday.
Are you ticklish?
im sorry for the indignity & violation you went thru .. i need to get to know you better so that i dont make that assumption ever again
sleep is elusive ...
~ Alien