abyssia

Standing on the Brink of Time, Looking at Myself

Even though Im still looking at myself, I am not at all in a state of stagnation. There is a lot to see when I look at me. So now I am observing me and deciding what of me I want to be and what I shall discard. I don't actually expect Ill discard much at all. A lot of the things that make me, me are things most people might like to dump. But one of the really me things about me is that I would rather make alterations when necessary and reincorporate those things. The words "new and improved" came to mind. I don't want to be new. Im not sure I even need major improvement. Just some adjustments. ;o)

Im not entirely sure what my will is, but I know that there is something I am to do. The part of the "god" thing that is me exists for a reason - beyond helping the god thing get to know itself. Thing is, as a part of the god thing (maybe I should come up with a name for it that I don't find offensive?) that is aware of being part of the god thing (Ill think on that later) I have given myself a great gift. It no longer feels oppressive. The love. I have cursed "God" for this love - the knowledge and drive to love all so purely and to ease suffering wherever I can. Now I know it's just a natural part of being the me that I am. For now anyway. I am a conduit. I am a bridge. I am a mer. a very fallen angel with delightfully dirty wings. (smile) and I have the entirety of the god thing to draw upon, to comprehend, to share.... light. I feel light. Light in body, mind and soul. Its so simple - for the moment.