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abyssia

Member Since 2004

Followers 45 Following 31

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Wednesday Oct 27, 2004

Oct 27, 2004
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Once upon a time there was a girl and she tried very hard to please everyone she met. She was very kind and listened attentively and with genuine interest as people spoke to her. She delighted in gaining the trust of those around her. She devoted herself to the happiness of others. While she was not utterly selfless, she did place the needs, wants and desires of other people far above her own. She knew that she was born to serve.

One day, after learning much of the work she had done was for naught, the girl decided she didn't want to be around people anymore. She opened her mouth to swallow many pills. She opened her arms to let her blood flow. She even went so far as to use her blood to leave a message: "That's It!" (Although to this day, she has no memory of doing that.)

Unfortunately, she was listening to a man singing, "Nothing can stop me now, I don't care anymore. Nothing can stop me now, I just don't care." In an odd twist of fate, these words reminded her of the few people who did care for her. Overwhelmed with guilt, she sought help. She did not die.

Years went by and the girl disappeared. The person she had been shrunk inside until even she could not recognize herself. Her greatest fear had come to pass. She was no longer herself.

To this day, the girl tries to remember who she used to be. She tries to act as she once did. She knows she is all alone. She does not know what to do. She often wishes she had not been listening to that man singing those words at that moment. She is broken. A shadow of the girl she had been. Nothing has turned out as she thought it would, although she never did put too much thought into the future. She lived in the present. Now, she lives in the past, searching. She scratches about sniffing for a memory that might trigger her rebirth. She knows all of her efforts are in vain, yet she continues to try.

The girl has become insane.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
aj_paradiselost:
Hey, babe, Hello right back at ya. Its about three-thirty on a fucking Saturday morning. My friend Shana is crashed out on my couch. I was giving her guitar lessons and she played until her fingers bled and her buzz wore her out. I think we have a fucking folk singer in the making, not that I"m proud of that but I'm proud of her.
I've got a bit of a buzz fucking going on. I'm not complaining, the fucking Yuengling Lager and Hieniken are flowing freely. I was just listening to Concrete Blonde's " Bloodletting Album." There are few bands that put out albums that I like in thier entirety but that is one of them. Its on that Goth side but I dig it anyfuckingway. So what are you up to this weekend Demoness? What dark words of intrigue shall I dwell upon from your black, silkend mind? I always linger on the edge of the computer desk to find out.
Anyway. I shall talk to ya soon. I"m off all fucking weekend so there will be drunken orgies tomorrow and football all Sunday. And then work shall demand the rest of my time for the following two weeks. I will talk to ya later babe. I signed on for the SGs. I hang around becaue of our conversations...........L8er babe.
Oct 29, 2004
yuriel:
me too *hugs*
ugh my stomach even seems to start being an asspain to me
as if....hehe
*hugs*
EL SUICIDO LOCO
mad love
Oct 30, 2004

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