abyssia

I wrote this during typing class in high school. Though some of the language I use has changed, the way I think and the things I think about have not. I found this in a stack of things and it was so faded I thought I'd best transcribe it before it faded back to nothing.

All that is, was and never shall be...

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almost inhuman glee. when the last whip. i feel sad very sad das sad sad sad sad sas sad sad sad
Maddog sad just bad
sad
cold empty smelly sad bad rad lad
say a word to him for me will to ya/?
ooh i did that right; a first frots frost

the god of death comes to me and beckons. he loves me. he wants me. i want him. death is warm and cold. he is soft and firm, hard, smooth, curved, flat, down all around. he is wet and dry. he is slimy, repulsive and kind. i like him. the god of death is no god. he is but a wish, as is any god. and therefore is sought - yearned after by those for whom he is god and by those for whom he is satan. satan is part of all. satan is all if all is all, all there is is what is and what can be. what was is no longer and never again shall be. what is, is all and shall be nothing. nothing is all-encompassing for all was nothing and therefore shall again be nothing. nothing becomes something when it is desired. desire is the stuff of everything. we desire existence. or do we? not all. some others' realities meld with and mold all desire. desire is universal. we desire life and we get it. we desire death and it exists. the death of desire is the end of all. all that is not. what was, that is already nothing, gone, a memory in the mind of those for whom desire exists. a void for those for whom it does not. the desire of some brings the life of others and to some extent maintains that life although it is possible that no desire exists for that one. when the desire of the others dies the undesiring vanishes. all is fantasy. hope is an outgrowth of desire. hope is, all is, is not, can't be and dies to be nothing. we try.
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