My logistically gifted friend you asked for something I could not give - you tricky bastard! You are always alone inside yourself. I spray painted those words on the dormer above my bed when I was about thirteen kinda freaked my mom out. If we are truly individuals and share no connection at all, it is absolutely True. If separation is an illusion, it is true only as long as the illusion holds. Im not sure if we fuck because we are separate and want to end our loneliness or because we are truly One and seek to shred the veil through union. I am sure we fuck because we want to feel wanted, needed, adored. We fuck out of a need to share and out of an inner fury which we often share while we fuck. That fury, the anger turned inward, turned outward, turned inward, turned outward a fucking snake winding its way up our spine and into Our mind. Caduceus Wand? Perhaps. Cosmic egg. Back to Easter again. Phooey! My hard boiled eggs came out very well not at all too dry and they guys dyed them well while I cooked for them. Mable! Black Label! My mind wanders.
Where were we? Illusion vs. delusion? Hope. Wasnt that left in the box? Knowledge and hope are not incompatible you silly man. Depression and hope seem to be. But somehow depression and humor are not incompatible in me. Do not mistake humor for happiness! Look for the smile in the eyes. Do you look at yourself in the mirror? Not just your hair or your teeth or the pores on your nose but your-self? Freaks me the fuck out worse than hearing my own voice, which everyone seems to like so very much, but which sounds so childish to me. How can THAT be sexy? Are you all into kiddy porn? White cotton panties and no bush? Well, I could go for no bush, but now Im getting political. Why cant I stay on topic? Perhaps I have no topic.
I think I think Im just talking to you in the way I might be if I were sitting across from you in a bar. A little dirty bar with little dirty tables and a band doing a sound check and peanut shells on the floor and a tiny bathroom I shudder to use but cherish once I come to need it. Youve got entirely too many blondes in your life. Why so many blondes? Whats with the blondes? Tell me. Im a natural brunette and I absolutely need to know what the deal is with the blondes!!! Box of Rain was the first Grateful Dead song I bought got it on a 45 and I was hooked. I cant say my parents have no musical taste since my childhood was spent listening to musicals like Don Quixote and Fiddler on the Roof but I had to tell them who The Doors were and remind them about The Beatles. Crosby, Stills & Nash were fairly exotic. *Sigh* I love them anyway and somehow I managed to grow up to be the ecstatically insane person I am today. Longer parental story there. Isnt there always? Lets have another beer before the band starts to play, Im going to have to hit the can soon anyway. So tell me, are we alone? Do you have one particular opinion on that or does it change with your mood? A toast! To Beer and Nuts! Take it as you will. ;o)
Where were we? Illusion vs. delusion? Hope. Wasnt that left in the box? Knowledge and hope are not incompatible you silly man. Depression and hope seem to be. But somehow depression and humor are not incompatible in me. Do not mistake humor for happiness! Look for the smile in the eyes. Do you look at yourself in the mirror? Not just your hair or your teeth or the pores on your nose but your-self? Freaks me the fuck out worse than hearing my own voice, which everyone seems to like so very much, but which sounds so childish to me. How can THAT be sexy? Are you all into kiddy porn? White cotton panties and no bush? Well, I could go for no bush, but now Im getting political. Why cant I stay on topic? Perhaps I have no topic.
I think I think Im just talking to you in the way I might be if I were sitting across from you in a bar. A little dirty bar with little dirty tables and a band doing a sound check and peanut shells on the floor and a tiny bathroom I shudder to use but cherish once I come to need it. Youve got entirely too many blondes in your life. Why so many blondes? Whats with the blondes? Tell me. Im a natural brunette and I absolutely need to know what the deal is with the blondes!!! Box of Rain was the first Grateful Dead song I bought got it on a 45 and I was hooked. I cant say my parents have no musical taste since my childhood was spent listening to musicals like Don Quixote and Fiddler on the Roof but I had to tell them who The Doors were and remind them about The Beatles. Crosby, Stills & Nash were fairly exotic. *Sigh* I love them anyway and somehow I managed to grow up to be the ecstatically insane person I am today. Longer parental story there. Isnt there always? Lets have another beer before the band starts to play, Im going to have to hit the can soon anyway. So tell me, are we alone? Do you have one particular opinion on that or does it change with your mood? A toast! To Beer and Nuts! Take it as you will. ;o)
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
An experiment in fucking, ay.
Have you heard of the White Tigress?
Om Namah Shivay
Wouldn't a Aum symbol/icon be cool?
He is indeed a sensitive man, and I wish that I could say that he has a happy life, but his life has been aflicted by depression. This problem affects many aspects of his life, but he has so much to offer when he shows his best.
I love to read his letters, because his writting style is so good, but it can be frustrating to talk to him face to face or on the phone. He is family and I know how much he can offer on the goood side, but he tends to dwell on the negative and that has made it hard for him to make friends.
He lives in a small town in Canada, far away from the rest of us and I worry about him sometimes. I wish that he was closer or at least in a place without the time difference, so that I could call him when I am not tired.