abyssia

thanks to all who took the time to leave such caring words and excellent advice on how to deal with the loss of my friend Sean. i had hoped to put your advice to use before the death of my fiancs mother, but it was not to be. thing is, just the act of asking and the receiving of such thoughtful responses from so many people - that has helped me - you have helped me - more than i can express. i'm far from eloquent at the moment but i won't let any more time go by without thanking you. i suck at asking for help but you made it easy.

she breathed her last early tuesday morning. it was terrible and awesome at the same time. i've lost so many, but i've never before been present when they passed.

i'm sure more of that will come out in my vertical shorthand. i can't do it now. i can't. i can't stop crying. apparently, i hold onto my pain too much. i do a lot of things "too much." internal things. most of it i like. or i like it about myself? bugger it, sleep calls. analysis can wait.

thank you.

~mer