Fucking Fuck All.
Shits fucked up, I know. But they asked. I have the email. I replied - lots of ideas. Easy shit. Shit to order online and shit to buy at the mall.... Shit they could have made with their very own fucking ass SHIT!!! But no. Not one piece of wrapped shit. I know, I know - 'tis better to give than receive. I give a lot. I give a fuck of a lot dammit. I don't think I've ever felt this absolutely disregarded. Certainly not on a Christmas. I'm hurt and angry and they are utterly oblivious to it. At least they are his family and not mine. They'll never be my family. You don't fuck with me like this and just walk back into my heart.
The sooner we sleep the sooner we wake and theoretically, the sooner we leave - that is if they don't have more things for us to do for them. Right now, I want to stick out my tongue, give them the finger, moon them and leave. Yes, perhaps I've reverted to my most adolescent form in my anger, but at least I'm allowing myself to feel anger at this slight and not depression. At least the things I "want" to do are focused outward and not against my own flesh. I am looking at their thoughtlessness and disrespect as reflections on them and not on me. This may seem pretty petty and damn pathetic, but for me it's actually a victory on par with the day when I said and truly believed, "I have the right to breathe the air."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Merry Christmas. Good Night.
Shits fucked up, I know. But they asked. I have the email. I replied - lots of ideas. Easy shit. Shit to order online and shit to buy at the mall.... Shit they could have made with their very own fucking ass SHIT!!! But no. Not one piece of wrapped shit. I know, I know - 'tis better to give than receive. I give a lot. I give a fuck of a lot dammit. I don't think I've ever felt this absolutely disregarded. Certainly not on a Christmas. I'm hurt and angry and they are utterly oblivious to it. At least they are his family and not mine. They'll never be my family. You don't fuck with me like this and just walk back into my heart.
The sooner we sleep the sooner we wake and theoretically, the sooner we leave - that is if they don't have more things for us to do for them. Right now, I want to stick out my tongue, give them the finger, moon them and leave. Yes, perhaps I've reverted to my most adolescent form in my anger, but at least I'm allowing myself to feel anger at this slight and not depression. At least the things I "want" to do are focused outward and not against my own flesh. I am looking at their thoughtlessness and disrespect as reflections on them and not on me. This may seem pretty petty and damn pathetic, but for me it's actually a victory on par with the day when I said and truly believed, "I have the right to breathe the air."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Merry Christmas. Good Night.
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But when, it does feel good when people are nice, so these are for you