abyssia

freedom is a myth. something to strive for, something to yearn for, and something we never really understand in this human form. when you find it, let me know. i'll still be listening.

[Edited on Oct 22, 2004 5:27PM]

Hey babe. I picked up a tape recorder to pick up some sounds, preferably two, me breaking glass and me striking a match over and over again. I figured I'd use them in some kind of fucking Metal song I'd write later on. Not sure I know why but I think my muse is the talent equivalent of a young Helen Keller. Any fucking way. I like that you like the sound of glass breaking. Its pretty fucking romantic I think. Anyway babe, take care of yourself..............L8er

Hello, Demoness. I was checking at your pics again before I split to fucking go to work. Yer such a fucking babe. Anyway, when are you going to pacify us with more online pics? Growllllllllllll. Being demanding am I? Yes I fucking am.
You know what I really want? A close up of those insanely deep eyes. just drag the cam in close and Snap. Your so fucking fascinating. I'd really dig on seeing what lies there behind those eyes. Anyway Demoness, I shall talk to you soon..........L8er.

truth? we are born with only our body, we die with only our body. we might as well enjoy every moment of this piece of flesh the universe put us in!

Ehh, i really gotta spend the next month getting grad apps done and trying to at least go through the motions in my classes, not too bad

im not less sad all too bad im just pressing all the shit to back burner best i can....
psst
following my bliss would make me... what a porn star?
hugh junior?
owner of somehuge retail chain making billions?
lmfao
*shrugs*
i dunno

Hey babe, I put some new pics ups.........L8er

I hope your feeling a little better if not much better. I just got off work, its 4am. I had a twelve hour shift today, so I'm gonna have a beer and fucking crash. I'll talk to you later babe.

So, celebrating Columbus day, some way other than calling in sick to work? well,... it got me to thinking .. what would (should?) someone do for their friends on Columbus day... and all I could come up with is.... I (and several friends) visit an unsuspecting friend... do a break in their home, and then take all his cash and assorted valuables (to give to some girl I may or may not have a crush on ), eat all the food and then make him clean up the mess (eventually I turn his house into a casio, where I can also get cheap smokes!!!!)... and promise to return soon! mwahahahhaa, that's how i'd keep the spirit of Columbus day alive... ( i know it's not entirely historically accurate.... but then again I'm giggling as I write)

I'm always at a loss when people put sonnets and the like in their jounals...

how goes the war that is life?...

Hey babe how have you been, christ, I've left so many comments that I feel like a stalker, no rush, shit doesn't revolve around computers any fucking way. I'll talk to you when I talk to you, stay beautiful, no problem for you, L8er.

if .. when .. i pass through a flaw in reality; either by purpose or fate, I shall hope to find you there in that place that is nowhere

nothing you could say, wether trying or not, could tarnish my "romantic visions" as you put it. because the source of that love is laying in my bed right now, asleep. and as i look at her i see a beauty that my own romantic visions tarnish. i could never hope to try and compare words to her, and so i am at a dead end, that spot where she is in a dream world and i am wide awake, unable to lay still, due to the quickened heart beat that she causes in me.

Now that made me smile... Ticked though that I have to head into work or my team will be rattling around in a meeting room without me... Can't wait to respond correctly this evening...

Missing you

i wonder how many words it would take to put all that emotion and intensity into prose...

i absolutely LOVE the movement, rhythm, sensory additions & quick associations somebody else probably wouldn't put together but they fit. paints a dramatic picture. i, however, would NOT want to be in the shoes of the one feeling those emotions. i have been there WAY too many times. what's going on, anyway? you going to be ok?

just to let you know, i finally posted pics of my pale girl & froggie (if you want to see them). spent most of last night alone in my bed with her .

♥ firefae



[Edited on Sep 27, 2004 10:43AM]

Michaelangelo's David? lol teeny weenie? So I got a teenie weenie ya implying?

But no, Renaissance Art was neo-classical, so all male genitalae were 'shrunkened', and the focus was the masculature of the human form.. hence the Gods of yore with a Herakleian build, while the Goddesses had a very 'supple and fertile' appeal in their image.

And perhaps you may have to charge.. I recommended seapuppy to you about his image being also stretched. So, can that be charged to me instead?

And thanks for your kind words.. hehe though Im unsure about the David reference. I guess its just who I am, whether one way or the other, and my heart, well, Ill just have to prevent it from going to the dark side, regardless the price.

- J.

Hey Abyssia. I'm really beginning to think that adding you to my friend list was a really cool thing to do on my part. I really dig on your play of words as a means of expressing yourself. As far as the male side goes its kind of different.
I enjoy being male, not just because I've never been anything else but there is a standard of behavior. I've really never given a damn what anyone else thought, but that usually dwells within the realm of interests, how I dress, what I listen to, who I take as my friends....etc. However it all comes down to the first thing that is obviously percieved, he is male, she is female, after that there is race and then further perceptions, the way they look etc etc.
When I'm hanging out with the" Guys" at work and we are throwing back beers and shit many assume that though we are all different we are all GUYs and at least click on that level. When I stepped outside of that by being friendly to someone the GUYs were supposed to be taunting and making fun of it didn't make me feel like one of the guys.
I got over it because I know that I am bigger than that. In the end it came down to will a different group of GUYs be watching me at the bar and thinking that maybe I am less than they. As a minority your battle is pretty much always trying to show that you are just as good if not better so I think that in the end that little thought is nagging away in the end. I am being long winded but you know what. I only have a love of humanity when I can put myself in thier places. I do that with all my animals. How are they feeling would I want a bigger cage. Would I want to be fed before the week was out if I were the Boa?
I just try to see living things as if, what if I were them? Okay, done now.

Send me your writings, or ramblings. It is pure poetry. I really want to hear them.

it has been too long since I have seen The Breakfast Club...just musing...

you are indeed neat and thinking
and like
whoa :x
fuck yes
this world is garbage
*sighs*
everything is... fucked

"im trying not to think about it kiddo......"

my hands hurt after, but sometimes the pain helps me think...

kids never last as long as me on the swings...they have not yet gotten to the point to appreciate the pain...