absinthe

Last night I went to this drag show, it was amazing. Alohra and Ally and i (and our prospective students we were taking care of) dressed like hipster boys and attempted to catcall at the "girls" (our guys friends in drag) and dance "manly." I never even realized that drag isnt just for boys to be divas - the hottest thing i saw all night were these super-cute drag kings dancing. The whole thing made me so hot ! and marvelling at the fact that gender pretends to be so rigid but isnt really at all!

That was the good part. The rest of my day was buffered on either side by two bookends of terrible. I had a million things to do and managed to flake out or screw up pretty much every one. I just want school to be over ... then Boy came and wasnt exactly enthused with the drag stuff or me dancing around like a dude, or that I had last-minute prospective students I had to take care of. It feels like it was just one more thing I failed at yesterday. It made me so depressed. Sometimes I feel like everyone and everything is just pulling on me all the time, pulling me one way or another and getting let down when I cant give them everything they or it demands. School is like this. Life is like this. I keep thinking, who am I pulling on?
I have so many issues. I thought I had it all figured out. Maybe I wouldnt have so many issues if people didnt seem to be taking issue with me all the time. But then I cant act like I'm the victim of others when I'm the one that seems to be failing.