Thursday Nov 18, 2004

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Letters and Other Gestures

I got a postcard from my dad today. I like to hear about the pleasant little things that he feels are worth mentioning - going on walks, the weather, how things are at home. My dad is such a faithful correspondant. i love getting mail.

I went to see Lysistrata skull the rock opera!! skull with my friend's conference tonight. It was sexalicious confused Its funny that the theme of women being taken for granted until they withhold sex has held true for 2,000 years. Same with dildos. shocked

and now, the essay ...

I see a lot of various types of love/lust all around me. Duh, I'm at college. But i see independant girls fall head over heels anyway, girls and boys getting all confused because the timing is off, girls with boys who try to control them and make them feel bad, girls with crushes, requited or un. And then - - - girls who's boys think their girls are the greatest things alive and worship at the altar of their being !!
There is some mysterious secretive secret about how to make a boy act like you are the most perfect pearl in the ocean, and suddenly buys you flowers and sends you singing telegrams, picks out all the candy in the bag but the red ones cause that's the kind you like, tries to draw you when your not around and sends you all the drafts. If this secret alchemy love-spell of boy-worship was easy to come by, then you would never see girls getting used or hurt, right? or maybe girls just don't know what they're worth.

skull disclaimer number one - I don't want a boy to make these big gestures and thus sacrifice his identity just for me. I wouldn't want a boy to aquiese to everything I believed, said, did, just like
I don't want a friend to pick little fights with me or be combative,
I dont want a boy to do that. But i wouldn't want a friend to agree with everything I said or opinion I had, either, and thats the same for a boy. All thats stuffs only cool with integrity behind it.

skull disclaimer number two - i don't want a singing telegram. i pride myself on being a cheap date. I guess the question is really one of knowing if your valued, in thought word and deed. So many girls feel like they aren't, ya know?

Chicks dig letters, dorky art, romantic silly stuff, and any other way that makes them feel adored, no matter how small, no matter how large, no matter how dumb.

p.s - Lila and Sam and our buddies made the best photocopies of our faces today !! Its like, post, post -modern art ! shocked
p.s - I continue to learn the mysteries of the print shop and hope to one day be its Czar and lift it up to screen printing glory ! Reverse entropy ! Tee-shirts ! kiss
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
chazstrummer:
*cancels the singing telegram* Damn! tongue
vampirate:
That's a good question. The basis for the whippage phenomenon, I believe, is the (flawed and generally unhealthy) idea that "if he really loves her, he will change (or she can get him to change) for her." A boy will play into this for a number of reasons. He may be so desperate or lonely that he'll do anything to snag a girl (or a steady lay). He may be very confused about who he really is, and having the personality that a girl desires imposed upon him may be the path of least resistance for him. He may be (consciously or unconsciously) exaggerating this effect to appear more attractive, that is, he may actually be more of a sweater-clad chihuahua than a hell-hound, but is putting on the hell-hound act because he knows (like I said, consciously or unconsciously) that chicks like to tone him down. I suppose it's also possible that the girl in question might be so perfect for the guy in question that she actually rocks his world, revolutionizes his vision of love and picture of happiness, and he really does undergo a voluntary and fundamental change because of her, but I'd wager this is probably the least common case.

I know that it happened to me in the past because I thought I wanted to match the description of this girl's ideal guy, but I was way wrong. It really fucked me up, and even after the relationship ended, it was years before I could even have sex with anyone again. On the plus side, I think I learned a lot about myself (and relationship dynamics) from the experience, and the next relationship (it's been over a year and a half now!) has been indescribably healthier.

So, yeah, in conclusion, I think that whippage is pretty much universally an unhealthy condition. I would hurl myself into a chipper-shredder with hardly a second thought if it would truly benefit my girlfriend, but I don't follow her around with my tongue hanging out (unless I've had a couple of beers and I'm WAY horny, but that's kind of a different tongue-hanging-out sort of situation).

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