the sketch factor of my day, on a scale of one to ten, was about 3000.
Lately I've been felling really strange. Like someone will say sonething, and I'll think, 'that's a strange thing to say.' At first I thought people just talk/react different since I've been meeting people from so many parts of the country, but I'm starting to think its me, Like I can't rationalise other people's behavior - it's crazy.
I had my first day of work at the poster shop, which was cool, except that I got hit on by weird guys on the way there. I've never had trouble riding the bus alone, so this freaked me out. My job is neat because I get paid 50 cents more than I did teaching preschool just to roll up posters and use the cash register, and -get this- stand outside holding a 'fire sale' sign attached to a poster of johnny depp. (the fire was 2 years ago
) This alternates between being awesome (i like to people watch and sit doing nothing) and unbearable (being bored, or really hungry when fried food is just out of reach, being stared at, or maybe it was johnny) . After a while all the passersby started to look insane to me. I was bothered by sketchsters again, I got talked to in spanish and that was kind of cool because I felt like I could communicate; and I was also peacefully peddled to by a Hari Kyshna. i bought one of his books because I liked his orange getup and I see those guys every time I'm at saturday market and no one ever buys their books. I started reading it while holding johnny, it was all about the soul not being tied to the body, and ending the cycle of death and rebirth through rejecting the material, and lots of vague references to the Vedas that didn't make a lot of sense to me.
While waiting for the bus this crazy homeless man approached me. he said 'you don't have a body - prove it.' I said, 'um, how?' he told me I could make myself explode. when I couldn't (yep, I don't have that power) he said that something was going to explode before I did, and started talking about glass and shit and walking and bird feet. he was crazy. I got on a bus when it came (even tho it wasn't mine) because he was being really hostile, calling me names, but he followed me on, so I got off and the bus pulled out before he could. It was scary.
I thought about the sould not being attached to the body. Is saying that we want to end some reincarnative cycle really just a way of denying that we might, really, just get one life? That seems likely to me. Because i think I would like to be reincarnated if not. I don't want to float around in some weird nivana-like place being slightly content forever. I don't want my soul and body to be detached. I thought about the crazy hobo and if his soul is detached from his body already and that's why he said those strange things. When I looked at him, his eyes were like everyone elses. i think about how people dress and act. About how we clothe ourselves to appear a certain way, but all that happens is that you look like something you cant even see. are we all just delusional? I just want to live in my body and in my soul/mind. Maybe the crazyness comes from the discrepencies between the two.
I don't know. I know I sound like such a fuck-ass for philosophizing on the internet, but i had a really strange day and needed to hash it out. Was this worth $37.50 ?
People-watching today there were these two girls dancing to a musician guy who is there every week. They danced for like an hour, twirling and being silly. They reminded me of my little sister and her friends. They looked like they were having more fun than anyone in the whole place - and when they were done, they jumped over the light-rail fence and ran off giggling.
My sketchy day made me feel really vulnerable and kind of used-up. Like everyone wanted a piece of me, to bother me, and that I didn't have any power over it. there wasn't anything friendly or genuine about the concersations that I had today. Where is the boyfriend who will use his ninja skills to make them go away?
I'm going home in two weeks and i can't wait. I'm counting down the days.
Lately I've been felling really strange. Like someone will say sonething, and I'll think, 'that's a strange thing to say.' At first I thought people just talk/react different since I've been meeting people from so many parts of the country, but I'm starting to think its me, Like I can't rationalise other people's behavior - it's crazy.
I had my first day of work at the poster shop, which was cool, except that I got hit on by weird guys on the way there. I've never had trouble riding the bus alone, so this freaked me out. My job is neat because I get paid 50 cents more than I did teaching preschool just to roll up posters and use the cash register, and -get this- stand outside holding a 'fire sale' sign attached to a poster of johnny depp. (the fire was 2 years ago
) This alternates between being awesome (i like to people watch and sit doing nothing) and unbearable (being bored, or really hungry when fried food is just out of reach, being stared at, or maybe it was johnny) . After a while all the passersby started to look insane to me. I was bothered by sketchsters again, I got talked to in spanish and that was kind of cool because I felt like I could communicate; and I was also peacefully peddled to by a Hari Kyshna. i bought one of his books because I liked his orange getup and I see those guys every time I'm at saturday market and no one ever buys their books. I started reading it while holding johnny, it was all about the soul not being tied to the body, and ending the cycle of death and rebirth through rejecting the material, and lots of vague references to the Vedas that didn't make a lot of sense to me.
While waiting for the bus this crazy homeless man approached me. he said 'you don't have a body - prove it.' I said, 'um, how?' he told me I could make myself explode. when I couldn't (yep, I don't have that power) he said that something was going to explode before I did, and started talking about glass and shit and walking and bird feet. he was crazy. I got on a bus when it came (even tho it wasn't mine) because he was being really hostile, calling me names, but he followed me on, so I got off and the bus pulled out before he could. It was scary.
I thought about the sould not being attached to the body. Is saying that we want to end some reincarnative cycle really just a way of denying that we might, really, just get one life? That seems likely to me. Because i think I would like to be reincarnated if not. I don't want to float around in some weird nivana-like place being slightly content forever. I don't want my soul and body to be detached. I thought about the crazy hobo and if his soul is detached from his body already and that's why he said those strange things. When I looked at him, his eyes were like everyone elses. i think about how people dress and act. About how we clothe ourselves to appear a certain way, but all that happens is that you look like something you cant even see. are we all just delusional? I just want to live in my body and in my soul/mind. Maybe the crazyness comes from the discrepencies between the two.
I don't know. I know I sound like such a fuck-ass for philosophizing on the internet, but i had a really strange day and needed to hash it out. Was this worth $37.50 ?
People-watching today there were these two girls dancing to a musician guy who is there every week. They danced for like an hour, twirling and being silly. They reminded me of my little sister and her friends. They looked like they were having more fun than anyone in the whole place - and when they were done, they jumped over the light-rail fence and ran off giggling.
My sketchy day made me feel really vulnerable and kind of used-up. Like everyone wanted a piece of me, to bother me, and that I didn't have any power over it. there wasn't anything friendly or genuine about the concersations that I had today. Where is the boyfriend who will use his ninja skills to make them go away?
I'm going home in two weeks and i can't wait. I'm counting down the days.
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lyla