absconding_

I'm working some stuff out with Ryan. At the moment I feel pretty confused. A part of me does not wanna let him just go. You might all think I'm crazy but I don't give a shit. We break up and fight once a year like this. I just want it to stop happening. The other night I got a little to drunk and I guess I told him a bunch of things that I don't remember saying.Really horrible things. And instead of him fighting back he took care of me,put me to bed and everything. I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes. I feel bad for anyone who has to be in any sort of relationship with a bi-polar person. I'm not ever in control of the shit i do.

Imma flip the scrip'

I have to hand wash both of my cars today,take a pregnancy test since I'm over a month late,clean everything I POSSIBLY can in my house,get ready for the shoot on Tuesday and go to a baby shower without a gift.

I'm going to try and go to bed early tonight. Waking up after 12 pm is not my thing anymore.

Also,I need to work out. Fun stuff.

Last night it was so foggy and misty, I thought some Thriller shit was gonna break out. I kept looking out my window expecting to see this



That's my cousin on the far right in the blue dress and blond wig. Man, I miss her!

Time to get started on my day!