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abracapocus

Jersey - and don't ask me which exit!

Member Since 2004

Followers 18 Following 12

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Sunday Feb 01, 2004

Feb 1, 2004
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I guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sits back and notices a huge jar stuffed with money sitting behind the bar. "What's that?" he asks the bartender.

The bartender looks at him, and says"Oh that? It'll cost ya $20 to know."

The man grudgingly agrees and hands over the money. "Well," the bartender says,"all the money in that jar is what you win if you can finish 3 tasks, but it's another $20 for me to tell ya - but then you gotta do them."

The man thinks about it. Orders a few more beers and a shot. Finally, after a few drinks, he gives in,"OK," he says, handing over the money,"What are they?"

"First, you gotta finish this bottle of tequila, without pausing or breakin' lip. Second you gotta go out back, where the meanest nastiest pit bull you'll ever want to meet is tied up, and pull out an infected tooth he has. Lastly, there's a 90 year old woman in the room upstairs who's never had an orgasm, you'll have to go up there, have sex with her and make sure she does!"

The man stares blankly at the bartender, and looks around, slurring slightly"ok, that doesn't sound too bad. I'll give it a shot."

The bartender hands him the tequila. The whole bar cheers him on as he chugs the bottle, without stopping. He slams the empty bottle on the bar, and looks up at the bartender. "OK, where's that dog?"

The bartender points out back. The man nods and stumbles off. Immediately they hear barking and growling. Garbage cans tipping over, more barking, howling and then a loud YELP! followed by a groan.

The man stumbles back into the bar. His shirt is all torn and bloody, and he's covered with mud and scratches. "OK", he pants,"now where's that old woman with the bum tooth?"

--------------------------

What is synaesthesia? Kinda cool if you ask me:

"Sounds, words and numbers just throw images into my head. 'Jane', for instance, is quite orangey-red with a yellowish tinge on the 'e' at the end."

---------------------------

Boy, one thing sure does lead to another:

The Wooster Collective: A Celebration of Street Art. There's so much cool shit here that I think I could spend a few hours on this site, no problem.

----------------------------

How many people realize how good
Swervedriver really are?

VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
crispy:
I don't understand the "your father eats jelly beans" thing ...
whatever
Feb 3, 2004
kelly:
Good question doll. I would love to have an answer for you, but I don't even know myself. It's one of the great mysteries of a drunken stuper...I suppose. confused Hugs
Feb 26, 2004

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