Sprawled out in the recliner, he drops his elbow onto the armrest, cocks his head to the left, and pinches the bridge of his nose. "hmmmm" he thinks "here we are again my old friend!?" The room is dark, the hum of electronics and the dripping of a faucet the only sounds, nobody shares the old apartment with him, no one is visiting. "I thought we had lost touch, I thought I had found a life without you, I thought I was happy!" His quiet words faltered in the silence but his cracked voice recieved no mockery as no one was around to hear. Two hands slid onto his shoulders as if to comfort him, but the presence was not warm, it was not uplifting, the hands were cold, constricting, and damp. The shadowed presence would go without notice even by him as its existence was questionable at best. No matter how subtle, how lightly the touch, the presence had seeped into his heart once again, doubt, misery, sadness, emptiness, a wash of emotion cascading through his soul breaking his grip on reality and drowning him in dark detachment. They gave it a name, they called it depression, but he knew the presence well, too well, he spoke to his companion with a defeated acceptence. "Why do you embrace me so readily again Fear, why do you rule over me, why is my freedom such an unthinkable thing to you?" His knowledge and awareness were not enough to stave off the presence from another visit, knowing Fear to be the true form of the many ailments we suffer in humanity, could not give him the control he needed to break his fetters and rise above his captor.... The tablet in his lap leaked a white hue into the room, the pictures and blogs dancing across the screen as he stared, and read, and tried to find that key that would unlock his cuffs and let him fall back into the world, gave him no refuge, no santuary tonight. He looked at the "SG" in the center of the page, this home beyond his home had given way to the acceptance he feared did not exist for him, the people he talked with and whom shared there stories openly gave him more strength and confidence then his years before had ever allowed for him to have. THIS is where the key could be found, but where? "Perhaps if I stand and face you my friend, accept that you are here with me, forever, and introduce you to the people who know me... who know YOU but have not recognized you, perhaps then you will not rule me, perhaps then you may only influence me, advise me.... perhaps I could make you my friend and not my enemy?!" As he clicked the plus symbol on the screen and began his introductions one hand slipped from his shoulder, the other became warmer. With each word typed, he felt it easier to breath, easier to smile. Fear would serve him now, though wild and dangerous, and even knowing this creature would cause him times of pain, leave him scarred, it would also temper his beastly impulses and advise him with ancient wisdom leaving him ultimatley in a good place. He marked this moment in his mind, never to forget, 4:37 am Sun. Feb 2, 2014!
