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abgitatz

Painfully close to... but not actually in Chicago.

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Mar 15, 2005

Mar 15, 2005
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Day #3ish

Got a funny phone call this morning, and found myself with a new job in PA that starts at 8 AM ( EWW! ). So I had to call the night early. Guess I had to anyway, on account of baby detail in the marrow. ( yeah like it is a hassle )

I did see the roof partially cave in tonight though, this has been a good St Patties week. biggrin ( kintergarden style melodrama asside )

The reading was interesting tonight, saw some one actually break down during her reading about her ex. (well the piece was about his death.)

But on a less downer note....

Just crawled home (again) wink off to bed....

I just heard this... wtf?!?!?!?!?!?

a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin by The Blood Hound Gang

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave," this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well, she smiled, had about as much teeth as a jack-o-lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resemblin' a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus' tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. That rhymes. I have to admit, it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin, and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb, when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You cannot imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
missmontana:
Yay... JOB! ha ha.. i am not sympathetic... so there.. ha.

the roof caved in? at the party? whoa...

you never heard bloodhound gangs Stripper Crying song? Once upon a time I convinced the DJ at Fantasia to play that at the end of the night with a girl on stage... it was hilarious.... biggrin

Mar 16, 2005

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