I don't know if it's one thing or... everything, but I'm getting really tired of everything lately. Maybe it's the monotony of work, every day seems to blend together. Maybe it's the lack of (other things). I feel like I really need to change something before I... I don't know what, but it probably won't be good.
To start off this paragraph of ranting, I know everything there is to know regarding my current job position. And, entering defects into D5 excluded (takes about 5 minutes to learn), I'm fully Lead trained. Spending 4 years testing printers that don't work right probably doesn't help my cause either. Maybe I'm getting burned out? I really feel like I need to motivate myself to up and leave that place, but there are 2 problems with that. First off, as much as I'm tired of doing the job, I already know everything there is about it and I'm a creature of habit. Second, I really like the people I work with and know that if I leave, I'll probably never see most of them again. Take Audra for instance; she's really nice, funny and we get along great at work, but every time we've hung out outside of work (birthday parties, 4th of July, housewarming, etc) we get all awkward and can't talk about anything. And now that Ramiro and Brittnee left (who I'm really good friends with), I'm lucky if I see either of them each month. Finally, I really like having Friday, Saturday and Sunday off every week. Oh, I did find out exactly how much my company charges HP for my services and how little of that I'm actually given. It's pretty sucky. Things like that have led me to consider taking Brittnee's advice to apply at Dotster, seeing how well they treat their employees and all, but I don't like the thought of mandatory overtime and how much more work it all is. That's what I get for being afraid of change...
Regarding other things, I'm really starting to piss myself off. Sometimes I'm such a... I just don't do what I need to. I'm really attracted to this girl Danielle at work, but I'm too scared to try and find out of the feeling is even slightly mutual. She let me trick her into getting her phone number a while back, so that's got to prove that she doesn't hate me. We also make small-talk about every day, but it's nothing to write home about. Every time I have a slightest idea of how I might start the conversation leading to the conclusion of her finding out how I feel, I run the conversation over and over in my head and find all the realistic ways it could end sans my favor. Maybe it's a self-esteem problem, maybe it's from being homeschooled and otherwise sheltered my whole life, maybe it's just who I am, I don't know. All I know is I'm sick of it but don't know how the hell to do anything about it. GAAAAAAAAH!!!
I just need to do something, mix things up somehow. Maybe then I'll be able to tell the difference between one day and the next.
/sigh
To start off this paragraph of ranting, I know everything there is to know regarding my current job position. And, entering defects into D5 excluded (takes about 5 minutes to learn), I'm fully Lead trained. Spending 4 years testing printers that don't work right probably doesn't help my cause either. Maybe I'm getting burned out? I really feel like I need to motivate myself to up and leave that place, but there are 2 problems with that. First off, as much as I'm tired of doing the job, I already know everything there is about it and I'm a creature of habit. Second, I really like the people I work with and know that if I leave, I'll probably never see most of them again. Take Audra for instance; she's really nice, funny and we get along great at work, but every time we've hung out outside of work (birthday parties, 4th of July, housewarming, etc) we get all awkward and can't talk about anything. And now that Ramiro and Brittnee left (who I'm really good friends with), I'm lucky if I see either of them each month. Finally, I really like having Friday, Saturday and Sunday off every week. Oh, I did find out exactly how much my company charges HP for my services and how little of that I'm actually given. It's pretty sucky. Things like that have led me to consider taking Brittnee's advice to apply at Dotster, seeing how well they treat their employees and all, but I don't like the thought of mandatory overtime and how much more work it all is. That's what I get for being afraid of change...
Regarding other things, I'm really starting to piss myself off. Sometimes I'm such a... I just don't do what I need to. I'm really attracted to this girl Danielle at work, but I'm too scared to try and find out of the feeling is even slightly mutual. She let me trick her into getting her phone number a while back, so that's got to prove that she doesn't hate me. We also make small-talk about every day, but it's nothing to write home about. Every time I have a slightest idea of how I might start the conversation leading to the conclusion of her finding out how I feel, I run the conversation over and over in my head and find all the realistic ways it could end sans my favor. Maybe it's a self-esteem problem, maybe it's from being homeschooled and otherwise sheltered my whole life, maybe it's just who I am, I don't know. All I know is I'm sick of it but don't know how the hell to do anything about it. GAAAAAAAAH!!!
I just need to do something, mix things up somehow. Maybe then I'll be able to tell the difference between one day and the next.
/sigh
alekzandrea:
You should totally talk to her! What's the worst that can happen? She says she doesn't like you? I can imagine it's hard to keep in mind that it would only be one, slight sad point in your life, but you'll get over it and life will be grand again. Obviously, she enjoys talking to you. Girls don't just slyly pass out numbers for nothing! Good luck! 
marthy:
THANK U HUN 