abadinfluence

Gah .... the weeks go by so damn fast now. Tomorrow is Canada Day ... which unfortunately means absolutely nothing to me as every Canada Day for the past almost ever has been spent getting up stupid early and doing a flea market with my dad.

I hate it. But I feel obligated to help my dad ... so ....

Anyways ... I hate my house. I've been listening to my parents fight for the past hour and a half over the stupidest things. *sigh* Someone steal me and take me away?

So ... here goes nothing - people asked to read my writing ... here's a few of my crappy poems.


WHAT TO SAY

So many times I've wanted to say . . .
How much I loved you . . .
How much you hurt me . . .
How much I hate you . . .
How much I miss you . . .
How bad I want you back . . .
How happy I am to have you again.
But now I realize that I was wrong.
I should have wanted to say . . .
How much I loved you . . .
How much you hurt me when you said 'no' . . .
How much I hate you . . .
How much I want you back . . .
And when you turn your back,
I shouldn't say 'I'm sorry',
I should just say 'fuck you'.

THE COFFEE SHOP DILEMMA

Why does the place
that's supposed to calm my nerves,
make me so nervous?
Why is my nightly fix of caffeine,
also my nightly fix of desire?
Why am I quiet,
when I want to talk?
As the days passed,
my eyes stayed.
Transfixed on the beauty
in the malls immense ugliness.
Why is she there,
when I am away?
Why am I alone,
when we should be together?
Why am I quiet,
when I want to talk?

LIQUIDS

The liquids flow
through my veins.
The buzz I feel
Is overpowering me.
I feel complete,
I am now free.
I do as I wish,
But don't do as I say.
These liquids help,
As I feel release.
My inhabitions gone,
I am new.
A different person awaits
When these liquids
Flow through my veins.

BEAST

Step into the darkness
and you will find him.
Shine the light through,
you will see his eyes.
Walk further in,
you will feel his breath
deep upon your sullen face.
The place you've entered,
has no release.
You're in, you'll stay,
that's where you'll die.
The look on your face will never leave.
The fear, the anger, the hatred to all.
You sit in the darkness,
afraid of reality.
The truth that tells how you will die.
You scold yourself, for being so stupid.
Did you really need to see,
what was inside?
The beast moves closer,
you scower away.
It follows your scent,
you're now stuck in a corner.
No escape from the fear.
Your end is now near.
You beg and plead mercy,
but the beast doesn't care.
Dying in the darkness,
you sit and stare.
Your life quickly grows thin.
You curse and swear.
The time has arrived,
you are now dead.
The beast has won, his powers rise.
And the beast hurries away in disguise.
But . . . he will always live inside
YOU