I hate going to weddings because a good priest or whatnot always reminds me why people are so dumb. The word love is expressed in a way that isn't love. Infatuation perhaps. I'm very fond of infatuation, it makes you feel good and happy to be with someone. That is also why divorce rates are so high.
Sitting at the wedding, I thought to myself (in between cringing at the horrid organ player, which my sister and I exchanged several looks about, and our cousin, the famous sax player, was trying his damndest to hold it together), all I really want is a girl who is infatuated with me, and I with her, and a simple understanding that it isn't love. It may turn into love, but I don't want that expectation, because I often time think of myself as nearly emotionally dead. Granted, I'm far from it, I just am unable to explain my thoughts in verbal form because ... I AM SOCIALLY RETARDED.
Since I've lived in Boston for 5 years, I've dated a total of 5 girls. And only 3 of them got past the first date (or should I say I ... hmmm, something for me to think about). And only 1 of them got past the first month, who I later did fall in love with, then got scared about the fact that I actually loved someone. And per my usual, I pushed it away so it wouldn't leave me. Smart reasoning, huh? I am a weak man.
And then a short stop on the news train ... a quote from Bush that was dug up recently from 1999. It was regarding Kosovo, and good ole Bill Clinton. Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is. Isn't it astounding how someone's trumpet will change when he's on the receiving end of questions?
I got a letter from an old girlfriend the other day. It's set me thinking about myself and the lies I told myself when I was younger. I hurts to know that perhaps the best thing I ever had I ran away from.
Odd mood right now, just thinking back and going over my thoughts and actions of the past. I'm hoping this isn't just nastagia, but rather a push for change in my life. That would be nice.
To all those in the suicide pages, goodnight.
-Aaron
Sitting at the wedding, I thought to myself (in between cringing at the horrid organ player, which my sister and I exchanged several looks about, and our cousin, the famous sax player, was trying his damndest to hold it together), all I really want is a girl who is infatuated with me, and I with her, and a simple understanding that it isn't love. It may turn into love, but I don't want that expectation, because I often time think of myself as nearly emotionally dead. Granted, I'm far from it, I just am unable to explain my thoughts in verbal form because ... I AM SOCIALLY RETARDED.
Since I've lived in Boston for 5 years, I've dated a total of 5 girls. And only 3 of them got past the first date (or should I say I ... hmmm, something for me to think about). And only 1 of them got past the first month, who I later did fall in love with, then got scared about the fact that I actually loved someone. And per my usual, I pushed it away so it wouldn't leave me. Smart reasoning, huh? I am a weak man.
And then a short stop on the news train ... a quote from Bush that was dug up recently from 1999. It was regarding Kosovo, and good ole Bill Clinton. Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is. Isn't it astounding how someone's trumpet will change when he's on the receiving end of questions?
I got a letter from an old girlfriend the other day. It's set me thinking about myself and the lies I told myself when I was younger. I hurts to know that perhaps the best thing I ever had I ran away from.
Odd mood right now, just thinking back and going over my thoughts and actions of the past. I'm hoping this isn't just nastagia, but rather a push for change in my life. That would be nice.
To all those in the suicide pages, goodnight.
-Aaron
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any good plans for the holiday weekend?
~Lisa