So a lot has happened in the last week, which I won't even begin to discuss. Good and bad alike.
Work is crazy as could possibly be. Every single thing that could possibly happen is happening at the same time, which makes for a clusterfuck of an office. Everytime I turn around, something new is on my desk, and before I can even look at it, something else is on my desk. Overtime, here I come. About time for a vacation.
After my grandma died last week, I have been in a sort of so-so mood. I am a bit more distracted than I would like to be, but under the circumstances, it is understanable. The hard part about this, is that there is no funeral. She put in her will that she didn't want a funeral. So where normally there would have been a good outlet for grief and sorrow, there is none now. It leaves me in a position of every now and then, just bursting into tears, which upsets me a lot when I do it at the office, I hate not being able to control my emotions.
At the moment, I almost feel empty. Right now, I really wish I had a girl that I could just spoon and cuddle with, just to give me a sense of security. This is totally unlike me, so my whole world is kinda in a fragile state. I am sure I will be alright in a month or so, and that I will have come to terms with the loss, but it just leaves a pit in stomach that I can't seem to fill. Well, except with booze that is, but that isn't the wisest way to fill the pit.
While on the booze note though, last night I had some of an Armanac (cognac, single distilled instead of multiple distilled, gives a harsher flavor to it, not as pure) that was very amazing, then it turned out to be a 300 dollar bottle of it. Its good to know people in the business. I also sampled some Woodford's bourbon, and some nice rye whiskey. Good stuff. This was all after dinner (T-Bone steaks and homemade hashbrowns with blue cheese melted into them fried in bacon fat and seasoned to a bit spicy, as well as asparagus with all sorts of seasoning and such). What a great night. Tonite I am having dinner at a brazilian restaurant with my friend Katie before she moves back to the midwest. I am gonna miss her, but she will be back out here when she gets married in the fall. I think I need to make more friends, I have become very lazy in that respect. Alright, I have spent more time than I should have writing this, so back to the grindstone I go.
Work is crazy as could possibly be. Every single thing that could possibly happen is happening at the same time, which makes for a clusterfuck of an office. Everytime I turn around, something new is on my desk, and before I can even look at it, something else is on my desk. Overtime, here I come. About time for a vacation.
After my grandma died last week, I have been in a sort of so-so mood. I am a bit more distracted than I would like to be, but under the circumstances, it is understanable. The hard part about this, is that there is no funeral. She put in her will that she didn't want a funeral. So where normally there would have been a good outlet for grief and sorrow, there is none now. It leaves me in a position of every now and then, just bursting into tears, which upsets me a lot when I do it at the office, I hate not being able to control my emotions.
At the moment, I almost feel empty. Right now, I really wish I had a girl that I could just spoon and cuddle with, just to give me a sense of security. This is totally unlike me, so my whole world is kinda in a fragile state. I am sure I will be alright in a month or so, and that I will have come to terms with the loss, but it just leaves a pit in stomach that I can't seem to fill. Well, except with booze that is, but that isn't the wisest way to fill the pit.
While on the booze note though, last night I had some of an Armanac (cognac, single distilled instead of multiple distilled, gives a harsher flavor to it, not as pure) that was very amazing, then it turned out to be a 300 dollar bottle of it. Its good to know people in the business. I also sampled some Woodford's bourbon, and some nice rye whiskey. Good stuff. This was all after dinner (T-Bone steaks and homemade hashbrowns with blue cheese melted into them fried in bacon fat and seasoned to a bit spicy, as well as asparagus with all sorts of seasoning and such). What a great night. Tonite I am having dinner at a brazilian restaurant with my friend Katie before she moves back to the midwest. I am gonna miss her, but she will be back out here when she gets married in the fall. I think I need to make more friends, I have become very lazy in that respect. Alright, I have spent more time than I should have writing this, so back to the grindstone I go.
a funeral however, is a good way to release emotion without feeling awkward or out of place...
i would like to cuddle with you, just until you fell asleep...
and work on my desk piles up daily, but they wont let us work overtime so the shit just piles and piles
fuck them, when 5pm comes, i get to bolt!
i am sending you some better dreams
amethyst