aaron

Going to the water to get some closure with this whole thing. It has been a very strange year, probably the worst I've had yet. I've been pretty depressed and I've experienced a loneliness so deep I wouldn't have believed it possible if I hadn't felt it myself. This isn't about pity though, it brought about a certain amount of clarity. I kind of realized that I don't like who I am, that's why I've been having trouble making friends and it's why I'm single. It's kind of hard to convince people you're worth anything if you're not sure of the fact yourself. I need to fix me, that might take 8 months or a year but I have the time, just need the resolve.

I miss my Mom a lot, everyday, I feel like I don't have a family. I have family members of course, but the word doesn't seem to mean the same thing anymore. That's the motivation to get better though, she would want me to be happy, healthier, to be optimistic, to be comfortable, I haven't been comfortable in over four years.

Wish me luck, and if anyone wants to get together for a drink this weekend I'll be in San Diego, drop me a line.