_turkish_

So, last week pretty much sucked balls. It seems like everything that I planned or wanted to happen blew up in my face. I'm feeling a little better now. I completely disconnected this weekend and just took some time to decompress and work through some shit.

It's getting hard to tell who really are my friends and who really gives a shit about me. The people that are supposed to be my "long-term friends" seem to be completely writing me off and pulling away from me. In fact over the past month or so there are only about 3 or 4 people that have responded to any of my texts, phone calls, e-mails, etc.. and it's really getting me down. I'm grateful for the few people that are still communicating with me and I'm hopeful that some of my other friends will come back around. I just feel like I'm losing my ability to read people and judge how they actually feel about me. I really don't want to go back to how I was for a while where I just completely shut myself off and always had walls up but I'm not sure what to do. Even the people at work that I thought I was cool with seem to have these attitudes with me lately. Maybe it's because I asked my boss to transfer me to a store closer to home and school. I don't know. I'm just being fucking Emo and I hate it. Things will get better eventually.

I've been praying a lot lately which is weird 'cause I haven't prayed in a long time and it's been even longer since I've stepped foot in a Church. I want to get back closer to god and my faith, I just haven't been able to find a church where I feel comfortable and like I belong.

Well, that's all for now.

Peace,

Robert