_tesko

dear 2009, it's been a long, sometimes arduous year:

i started you by trying to soothe my broken heart in the arms of an ex. i finished college only to watch my rekindled romance go down in flames. i packed up and moved to chicago, seeking adventure and a fresh start. i found frustration, desperation, cliques, drama, confusion, pompous assholes, and beauty in the most unlikely of places. i began burlesque lessons, my first step on the road to living out my little girl cabaret fantasies (hopefully without the abortion and heartbreak), learned that having a 'fro can limit your head wear options, and that you can never have too many coats. the last few months have been a blur of work, parties, booze, drugs, and sex. i've fallen in and out of a few shitty friendships, and even shittier relationships. let me tell you something, '09, you really fucked with me this year. i've never doubted myself or my decisions as much as i did this year. so often, i felt like a girl who was trying to dance, but didn't know the steps. so fuck you, aught nine! you're a dick!

i'm sitting here, in my second chicago apartment, more sure of myself than ever. 2010 brings the realization that the adventure i've been searching for has been right here all along, that picking out roommates on craigslist is harder than it seems, that logan square is an amazing (and occasionally dangerous) neighborhood to live in, that living with three boys is awesome (and having two girls upstairs keeps me sane), the i'm not as shallow as i thought i was, and that i truly am a bright lights, big city, kind of dame.

in twenty-ten, i will not stifle my own creativity. i will spend more time with people who inspire me. i will read more books, see more art, live more life.

thanks, two thousand and nine, for reminding me that when i'm given lemons, i've got a great recipe for lemonade. now hurry up and leave, i've got a world to take over!