That is how I've been all day. I have been crying all fucking day and it sucks. This morning, during my first hour, i had just gotten done running the mile cuz we had to for dance. Alex (my best friend) wasn't there cuz hse was late and couldn't get to class. So, she met up with me when I was done running. We were talking and she goes oh yeah, I gotta talk to yo. To give background, her and I have the next six years of our lives outlined. We wil graduate in May, go for a vacation in Cali for the summer, go to community college for two years, then transfer to ASU for four more after which we will move to California to begin our careers. We have been seriously planning this for a while now and it was all good to go. But of course since this is my life and shit always happens, our plans are being altered.
Alex wants to be a fashion designer and eventually own her own store. The problem is that there are no fashion design schools in AZ. Also, being that she is doing that career, she does not need to go to a community college. Yesterday, she talked to a representative from FIDM (fashion institute of design and merchandising) and she said that Alex was a wonderful candidate for the career. So now, Alex is going to apply there and get accepted, and three months after grad, she will move to Cali and begin her life. That leaves me here. Alone. I am not mad at her in any way, I am soooooo beyond proud of her and happy for her. I wanna see that girl succeed as much as I wanna see myself succeed. It's just hard because this now means we aren't gonna be together. I honestly dunno how I am gonna do it without her by my side and me by hers. There really is no way for me to be able to go straight to Cali after grad because obviously it is much more expensive to go out there than to stay here. Plus, I am all sorts of doubtful as to what I wanna do for my career. Im doubting whether or not i wanna do psychology. That's sos cary because for years I have known what I've wanted to do and now all of the sudden in my senior year of high school when i need to know what im gonna do, i am lost. Ugghhh...this sucks so fucking bad. Oh yeah, Kyle works with me now. So we'll see how that works out....
right out of high school i was thinking about FIDM myself, it was down between there and AI of Seattle... as you know those plans all fell through and i'm still stuck here...but hey, if i'd gone to Seattle (as my plan was) and went to design school, then we would never have become friends...so there.